Friends Change...Friends Go

I think when one friendship stalls and the 'best' separates from 'friend'...God places another friend in your life to meet the need of having someone to trust again and to share life's joys, sorrows and frustrations with. I wasn't as close...who am I kidding....I wasn't close to God at all a year and a half ago - but He blessed me anyway by allowing me to find a close and true friend in a co-worker. Together we have had each others back, we have prayed for each other and together, we have trusted without pause and we have been stood together as friends throughout tough times. When I couldn't breath from grief, she held my hand, when I was frustrated she got frustrated right along with me so I wouldn't feel alone. I've been able to share so much with her and know that I could trust her with my words. When I needed a friend she was there - really there - and I could close my eyes and fall knowing she would catch me. In turn, I learned to be a better friend and to give back all that she had freely given to me in friendship. That's what a friend really is!

This is her last week before transitioning to another job at a different company. Thinking of the first day I will walk in the office and know she's not there and won't be coming back...that will truly break my heart. We have said the words that all friends say..."we will keep in touch", "we will meet for lunch or drinks", we will...we will..we will. The reality is that her life is changing just as mine will change. She will go on to forge new friendships that will supersede and surpass the one we had been blessed to have. I won't say that we won't be friends any longer but I have been down this same road several times...I know where it leads and all of the obstacles that prevent lasting close friendships. Each time I become more reluctant to form close friendships ~ and it takes me a while to get there again.  I believe that God places people in your life...in my life...to be a friend when you need one the most. I also believe that he allows them to leave once the lesson has been learned. I learned from her that I can trust again...that I could be the friend that I would want to have...that I don't have to settle for less and to be kind to those we have loved as friends.

I will miss her very much!

Peace.

Drama-Free zone

I hate Drama.

I love drama-fee!

I have been fortunate to have lived in a drama-free zone for a long time now. I find that if I mind my own business, don't try to mind others' business, and keep my "friend" area tiny - confiding only to my husband, that I am able to maintain this status quo!

I have also realized that it's easier to love my family and friends for who they are and where they are in their lives; and pray that they feel the same way about me.

For other people it is not so easy and therefore they always seem to be a big target for the drama arrow!

Someone I love is just being pelted with drama spears and it just breaks my heart!

:(

Peace

When It's Ovah ~ It's Ovah!

I never, ever thought I would type these words: It's Over (Ovah)!

My love affair with Wine.

My quest to 'heal' my growing stomach problems have taken me through tests, tests and more tests, some heavy-duty prescription Prilosec and a new adventure to Glutenfreeville!

Yesterday I felt pretty darn good - still pain - but better than I had felt in a long time. Then, I drank wine - well, a couple of glasses actually. This morning I wake to an all-too-familiar pain in my tummy. Ouch! I've never been great at Math, but I was able to put two and two together and come up with an ah-ha moment!

Wine + last night = stomach pain today

Previously I had waved off stomach pains as being part of whatever the problem in my tummy was (ulcer, gastritis, reflux....), but then I cut out gluten last Monday. That, along with the Prilosec, began to make me feel so much better - and no heartburn or reflux! It hit me this morning that the wine had gluten and here I am. Feeling like I have swallowed a side of beef - whole, I'm nauseous and my tummy hurts.

So...I can't purposely make myself feel like this again.

It will be a hard row to hoe without wine but... I will survive!

Peace

Project "Me"

With our Summer travel behind us and it seems like life may ease up a bit it is time to work on my new project: Project "Me". I kind of mentioned it in my last blog post that there were things I need to fix, mend (or not), and change about me and my direction in life.

For three & years I have felt adrift without a buoy or anchor. I stopped fitting in to my own life and the lives of others. The grief and changes I went through changed me - I'm not the same person and I don't know what to do with the woman I am now. I'm unfocused, unmotivated and I no longer trust people. I've become a glass half-empty girl when before I was a total 1/2 full girl. Where I used to have compassion...I lost that along the way.. I am indifferent. My attitude sucks but I'm good at faking it most of the time. I force myself to socialize only to spend the whole time wishing I was back at home where I am safe and secure; where I don't have to engage in small talk about myself about crap, with people who could care less.  I drink too much... I exercise too little and there is more of me now than there needs to be.

So, where do I begin in the project? Do I clean out the bad and then start new with what's left? Do I start working on the bad to make it good again? I need a life coach! I need a health coach! I need a fitness coach! I need a stinking plan!

This weekend I will spend some much needed time cleaning my house...then I will take some time to start cleaning everything else.

Peace

Turning a New Leaf

Rich & I are in Cali visiting family. While here I have had a few moments hear and there to really look at my life: what I'm doing with it, how I spend my time, who I spend it with. There are things I want to do that I keep putting off and things I've started that I haven't finished. I realize that there are a couple of friendships that have run its course that I need to either let go or decide to fix - there are others friendships that I need to invest more time in. There are family members that I need to put more time in with also. My health has suffered and I have let myself go physically, mentally and emotionally. So... I'm not sure how to turn all of this around but I'm going to write a project "Me" plan and turn over a new leaf!

Stay Tuned!

Peace

On the Road Again

Rich & I have been in heavy travel mode for two months now. This afternoon we will once again load up on a plane and head out. This adventure takes us to the West Coast to visit our son and his family through the holiday. We are looking forward to getting this trip behind us and staying home to just 'be' and do things at home..together.

Happy 4th of July!

Peace

Amber Alert: I've been missing

Yes..it really is me! I actually didn't get kidnapped, fall and hit my head and have amnesia, or hit the end button on my blogging life. I have to admit that i thought about the latter over the past month or so....not because I have nothing to blog about - i have plenty. Its just sometimes i want to blog about things related to people (family and friends) and they ready my blog....so I don't blog when i want to.  :(

So...to do a quick catchup ....since April Rich & I have found a church we enjoy, I turned 47, celebrated 15 yrs with my amazing husband, welcomed my grandson Jack into life, went to Jamaica for a vacation, got an offer on a secondary house we have been trying to sell, passed my PHR certification this morning and am currently sitting on a plane somewhere between Atlanta and New Mexico going to visit my daughter for a couple of days. July 3rd will take us to California to visit then our annual travel will be over and Rich & I can learn how to do "nothing".

Peace