Project "Me"

With our Summer travel behind us and it seems like life may ease up a bit it is time to work on my new project: Project "Me". I kind of mentioned it in my last blog post that there were things I need to fix, mend (or not), and change about me and my direction in life.

For three & years I have felt adrift without a buoy or anchor. I stopped fitting in to my own life and the lives of others. The grief and changes I went through changed me - I'm not the same person and I don't know what to do with the woman I am now. I'm unfocused, unmotivated and I no longer trust people. I've become a glass half-empty girl when before I was a total 1/2 full girl. Where I used to have compassion...I lost that along the way.. I am indifferent. My attitude sucks but I'm good at faking it most of the time. I force myself to socialize only to spend the whole time wishing I was back at home where I am safe and secure; where I don't have to engage in small talk about myself about crap, with people who could care less.  I drink too much... I exercise too little and there is more of me now than there needs to be.

So, where do I begin in the project? Do I clean out the bad and then start new with what's left? Do I start working on the bad to make it good again? I need a life coach! I need a health coach! I need a fitness coach! I need a stinking plan!

This weekend I will spend some much needed time cleaning my house...then I will take some time to start cleaning everything else.

Peace

Turning a New Leaf

Rich & I are in Cali visiting family. While here I have had a few moments hear and there to really look at my life: what I'm doing with it, how I spend my time, who I spend it with. There are things I want to do that I keep putting off and things I've started that I haven't finished. I realize that there are a couple of friendships that have run its course that I need to either let go or decide to fix - there are others friendships that I need to invest more time in. There are family members that I need to put more time in with also. My health has suffered and I have let myself go physically, mentally and emotionally. So... I'm not sure how to turn all of this around but I'm going to write a project "Me" plan and turn over a new leaf!

Stay Tuned!

Peace

On the Road Again

Rich & I have been in heavy travel mode for two months now. This afternoon we will once again load up on a plane and head out. This adventure takes us to the West Coast to visit our son and his family through the holiday. We are looking forward to getting this trip behind us and staying home to just 'be' and do things at home..together.

Happy 4th of July!

Peace

Amber Alert: I've been missing

Yes..it really is me! I actually didn't get kidnapped, fall and hit my head and have amnesia, or hit the end button on my blogging life. I have to admit that i thought about the latter over the past month or so....not because I have nothing to blog about - i have plenty. Its just sometimes i want to blog about things related to people (family and friends) and they ready my blog....so I don't blog when i want to.  :(

So...to do a quick catchup ....since April Rich & I have found a church we enjoy, I turned 47, celebrated 15 yrs with my amazing husband, welcomed my grandson Jack into life, went to Jamaica for a vacation, got an offer on a secondary house we have been trying to sell, passed my PHR certification this morning and am currently sitting on a plane somewhere between Atlanta and New Mexico going to visit my daughter for a couple of days. July 3rd will take us to California to visit then our annual travel will be over and Rich & I can learn how to do "nothing".

Peace

Just One More Time

Mother's Day is just a few days away.What I wouldn't give to be able to share that day with my Mother just one more time. She left this earth long before I was ready to give her back to God....3 1/2 years seems like yesterday when I last kissed her goodbye not knowing it would be for ever.

Each Mothers Day I can't help but stop and scan the sea of cards...looking for the one card I would buy for her if I had one more time - just one more Mother's Day with her. I pick up one card after the other until I find just what I'm looking for. I read it a couple of times and then put it back on the rack.

There are even moments when I am so tempted to buy the card just to keep.

If you have your Mom still...do not...I repeat...Do Not take it for granted.

Peace

O-M-G FRG

I am ONE week away from handing the leadership of the FRG to the command of my husband's unit! I have "done this, been there" for 3 1/2 year and I am OVER IT! A year ago I actually resigned  at the same time command was changing hands - only to give in at the last moment at the request of the old and new command (who told me it was not appropriate for his wife to be part of the FRG....really??) for another trip around the sun. Well, that trip is over and I am out-of-there! Our unit is small (only E-5 and above) - top heavy with officers; 98% of the spouses have already paid their dues and have taken the vaccine that makes them immune to any form of FRG involvement....which makes it difficult to get anything done in the FRG planning of events.

Recently the FRG was going to hold its annual (fundraiser) Yard Sale. This sale typically brings in the funds to pay for Family Day and holiday events for the unit and families. Instead of having donations coming out of the armory doors as in previous years, this year we got 2 little boxes. Welp, no support from the unit or families meant no yard sale, no funds. Instead of taking it personally I brushed of any ego trip I started down and said "F" - it! Family Day will go on next weekend as planned... when it's over the FRG account will sport a BIG goose-egg "0". I will happily turn over everything I have for the FRG to the unit commander and take the lead of all of the other spouses by getting my own immunization shot and support my husband from the comfort of my home or anywhere else I choose to be.

The FRG is a Commander's program that is required from the State. Our Commander hasn't displayed the support needed to keep the FRG moving forward. When a the leadership doesn't care the unit won't care. Such is life and such is the way it is.

So...I'm hanging it up and walking away - it actually makes me giddy!

Do I feel guilty that the FRG will be drifting in the wind until someone steps up?

Nope!

Hmmm...

When Rich is gone on a business trip I don't sleep well. When he doesn't call me or answer my call to check in before bed ... I don't sleep well.

Just sayin'

Peace