What Would You Do? What Would I Do?

A few weeks ago a very, very dear friend of mine who has been deployed for 6 months (her second) - received a "Dear Jane" from her husband.  Out of the blue..without warning. A husband who retired from the military last fall- twice deployed - who knows what it's like to be away from your support system in a god-forsaken country. She was in total shock, my husband and I were in total shock - didn't see it coming. He had openly professed his undying love and commitment (fidelity) to her all along; only to end it once her deployment money paid off their bills. In what seemed like a flash the man she trusted and loved didn't want or love her anymore. The grief processes has been horrendous for her because she is thousands of mile away, in a war zone, and doesn't understand what has happened. Fast forward 3 weeks... he now lies in a hospital bed. Taken down by too much booze and an ill-fated motorcycle ride. She is in flight back home ...unsure what she's actually walking in to. A girlfriend? Mutual friends who had 'his' back with partying and potential unfaithfulness? A husband who said he didn't love her anymore or wanted a divorce. The woman he didn't want will be the one to nurse him back to health - how's that for irony..or is that Karma?

She doesn't know what she will do when she gets home...to the hospital...to him. Part of her wants to run to him and be grateful he is alive and will recover. Part of her wants to walk away and salvage what little self-respect remains from his stripping down.

What would you do?

What would I do? That's a tough question to answer. We all believe it won't happen to us. She believed the same thing. But what would I do? My head would want to say good ridence and a big "f-u"...my heart that still loved him and would want to nurse and comfort him..my head would never forget...my heart wouldn't forgive. Maybe he wakes from his medical-induced coma and has a change of heart and begs forgiveness and another chance - maybe he wakes and doesn't remember he didn't love her - maybe he wakes and remembers everything and nothing has changed.

Whatever happens will happen. She's been stripped of her 'friends' that she left, the love of her life and her self-worth. Since I've never been part of her "other" friend-circle (the ones in the 'know" about what was going on), I'm still standing by her side! Her new circle is smaller but stronger....we will get her through this time somehow.

Peace