It's no secret that a series of event over the last 3 years has played the mambo with my emotional well-being. It has only been in the past year that the built-up and repressed sense of grief and loss that I had been stuffing down - from a variety of situations, big and small - began to fill me up so quickly and surprisingly that I've struggled to put all of the shattered pieces on "Me" back together. One recent event was one drop too much and I started to spill over ~ I could no longer control the intense and overwhelming sadness and tears. I even missed a day of work last week because I could not stop crying and could not bring myself to leave my house.
I knew the time had come...I spent days going over my Company's benefits for counseling, making calls, and crying. In the end I found out that my company does not offer a reasonable benefit for counseling services. I was a desperate mess and knew that I had reached the end of what made me functional. My ability to 'fake' being in control and put together was all gone.
I then remembered Military One Source. I called. I struggle through getting my words out to the counseling assistant support; I didn't know where to begin or where to end. I just spilled it and let her try and make sense out of what I was saying. In the end I was given 12 FREE visits to a local counselor. If after 2 visits I don't feel that there is a 'connection' I need only to call MOS back and they will find another one and my 12 visits starts all over.
My first appointment was yesterday. It went well. I feel that I have been matched with just the right counselor who understands each broken piece and will help me figure out how to put Me back together.
Peace
Welcome to my blog... my thoughts, my fears, my rants, my Life. Be aware that my blog will not be for the faint of heart or the weak - I will swear, I will rant, I will cry and I will laugh... Enjoy!
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The Dark Days
I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace
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I saw a tree this morning with leaves starting to turn. It's a sign a Fall...the end of Summer. A new season. A new change. There have b...
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I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace
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So...I've spent considerable time cleaning out my office. Throwing out stuff I've hoarded, boxing up personal items to take home, an...
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