Today is my birthday. My 50th birthday....
It's been a great day full of friends and family to help me celebrate this milestone! Truly is have blessed beyond measure with such a great support system...near and far. Today marks a significant point in my life's journey.
I am 50 years old! I will never see another 50 years. The Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I will have another 30 good years left. I will live to see my grandchildren's children and walk hand in hand with my handsome husband as we help each other maneuver our flailing bodies. There is a morbid significance in knowing that more than half of my life span is over and I don't even know where the years went. How did I get here...at this age...?
Today marked the beginning of the new phase of living for me. Where I spent 50 years seeking love, approval, respect, career, friends, and chasing family relationships, I enter this new age claiming the "Serenity Prayers my moto:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
With little time left in this life, I will be selfish and frugal with time and myself. I am loved by so many...truly loved. I know who they are and I reciprocate the unconditional love that I receive. I no longer need to seek approval, love, friendship, or respect from anyone....there are no conditions I feel I need to meet anymore. One-sided relationships no longer fit in my life - they take away my time and attention that need to be placed on those who willingly give and receive.
I want each moment moving forward to count...each second. It won't be wasted. I am no longer afraid of what people may think of me...what I think of me is what matters. My self worth will no longer be measured by my body type, how many "friends" I have on FB, how many wrinkles I have or my double chin. I am beautifully designed and I am loved and accepted by people who love me just the way I am.
There is no room left for pettiness. No room for wasted moments.
50 years came so damn fast.....30 will be a blink.
Peace
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