Monday...I'm still in my bathrobe...

Rich reported in to work this morning to take care of whatever, before leaving tomorrow for MOB. I'm sitting on the bed, still in my pj's and robe...looking like hell warmed over... I suddenly feel overwhelmed, sad, scared and lonely all at the same time. I REALLY want my Mom and Dad right now. I wish they were here... I wish I could hear them tell me it's going to be okay. I never in a million years thought I'd have to face tomorrow without them...the grief for them and for Rich leaving just feels SO MUCH right now.

I feel frozen...I know I should  get up, do laundry, take a shower, take care of a few errands before Rich gets home today - but I really can't find the strength right now. The flood gates have opened and I'm just a crying mess.

That's all for now...,

 It's 12:24pm now. I did get up and get a shower and 'around' ,, even threw in some laundry. Rich is on his way home. I'm still sad and empty... that's normal I hear. Pook and I have a lot of last minute details to work on and then we are heading to stay the night down town near the armory.

A few days without counting...

We made it back home from our family pre-d vacation to Florida!I have to say that it was a very nice trip and there were no real meltdown to speak of. It doesn't matter how old your children  are, (ours are 20, 23 and 25, 25), at least one meltdown is expected - or else it wouldn't be a family vacation. Okay... well there was a small one that I had - I even looked at Rich and declared that I really needed to Blog to release the pressure in my head. He fully agreed but without network we just got out and about until I was sure I was able to dial back! Despite son, B-20 wanting to take off some jerks head last night and daughter, K-23 & son, J-25 having a small pissing fuss....we all agreed that it was a terrific trip. The only thing that would've made it just almost perfect - was if son, N-25 and his family could've been with us. We didn't talk about the deployment at all, I didn't count (Paula, you'd be proud)..just soaked up the time. I'll post pictures later.....

I can't wait to catch up on all of my Blog-friends happenings... seems like I've been gone so long. Maybe I can do that tomorrow while Rich is working to get the final things done at the Armory.

For now, I wish you all a peaceful night as I find my way to bed!







Tomorrow is our last day. 

Whew... Glad that's over!!

Day 6 (damn).

The OpLove session went wonderful! After a fashion show in the office, I settled for the right thing to wear. (sometimes I just don't trust my own judgment when it comes to clothes). I'm a pretty tough cookie most of the time; it's funny how small things can break your resolve when you least expect it. The photographer was terrific and I know we've got some pretty amazing pictures coming our way in a couple of weeks!

Shout out to Todd - Thanks! Not just for your comment but for your leadership and friendship. You and your family will be in my heart and prayers every single day! Mrs. CPT and I will be taking some road trips and staying close - count on it!! It's been a comfort knowing that Rich has been training with three amazing guys, who no doubt, will have his back (regardless of where you all end up)! Love and Hugs CPT!

The silent tears came in the dark hours of the morning today. I tried so hard not to cry. We didn't speak, didn't pull away - just held on for a few minutes (until my nose started running and I was about to snot on his chest)! Talk about a moment breaker! I slipped out of his arms, out of bed. Looking back at him from the glow of the bathroom light I see him watching me and smile; as Jake replaces me and is 4 paws up next to my husband.

We have a few things to do today on base - hopefully lunch with our dear friends (CPT & his lovely Mrs), then home to do some packing for our pre-D family fun in the sun in Florida!

This is my favorite picture of me & Pook! Our best friends - The Whittens -  took this several years ago!

Enjoy your day, my friends!!!

Peace, Love & a big ray of Sunshine!

Ma'am, just breathe into the paper bag...

My brain is a-scatter today! Panic-mode is what I am in right now. (no... not over the deployment - I won't think about that until next week..see yesterday's post). There is something HUGE looming... staring me in the face...it has my throat in it's clench and I am all in a tizzy. A real full-blown tizzy!!

There are 2 things that throw me into a puddle of tears:

1. Clothes Shopping

2. Trying to pick something to wear to an event

Seriously! My husband can tell you that with a straight face I can't handle the pressure!

Each morning before I get up, I lay there and mentally go through my closet and pick out what I'm going to wear to work (weekends are not included in this ritual). Without exception, I knew when I got up today that I would wear my black & white sheath with top sweater, black sling-backs and dangle pearl earrings to work. (I work in an office). Done - in and out of the closet in under five minutes! Easy-peasy! Oh, there are meltdown from time to time, but essentially I can handle getting ready for work - it's a breeze. Mostly because Rich does the shopping for me and I know when I reach in my closet, I'll find just the right thing!! That's another blog and another time!

Now, let me tell you... to throw together something to wear for a "thing"....brings me to tears! My brain freezes up and I can't visualize what to wear!!!! Pook & I are having our OpLove photos done this afternoon (park, waterfall, covered bridge....) and I tried on 3 different things last night  ~ brought them all with me to work today. 2 pants, 2 shirts and 3 shoes.....still not comfortable with any of it. Colors throw me off - what goes with what? What doesn't make me look buldgy? Or frumpy? Should I wear a longer top to hide the pudginess? Long jean capris or darks jeans? Heeled sandals? Black boots? Flats (if i wore the long capris). White shirt? Deep teal colored shirt that compliments his uniform? What the hell goes with ACU's? Damn, I should've brought my brown casual loafers! Hair up or down? Curled or straight? I'm a freaking basket case right about now! I've already called Rich to quiz him (for the zillionth time) about what he thinks I should wear. I swear that I heard his eyes roll back in head!!!

Breathe in and breathe out!
Repeat!!

Oh, my - I feel light-headed!

Time, Please Stop!

It's Day 8 already (damn!!)

Weekend Re-cap:  Saturday - I was sitting at the airport watching the time click to Rich's arrival. Like watching water boil, or paint dry, or the phone to ring... I waited. "LANDED". Waahoo!! I waitied, waited, waited..then I see two pairs of combat boots at the top of the small escalator - one set belonging to my guy! As Rich and CPT descended, both wearing shades - looking ever so cool and hot in their uniforms (sorry, Mrs. CPT.. you know it's true). Once they passes the "DO NOT ENTER" sign I jumped into the arms of my husband without any shame whatsoever!

Jake was so excited to see him too! I opened the door to the downstairs and Jake barreled out the door to jump into Rich's arms! That dog worships him!

I gave them a few moments to love on each other and play. Then exiled Jake from the bedroom for a while (wink, wink)!

We talked about our 2 weeks gone and the week to come. We established a few ground rules for our last week: (1) I will cry, but it's not to make him feel bad and I will try to do it away from him, (2) there will not be any stressing.. about work, our family vacation, the kids, or if there is dust on the mantle, (3) we will respect that deployment will be difficult for both of us (and our kids), (4)  that there may be moments of 'pulling away' as we do our best to prepare and (5) we also agreed that after that conversation, we wouldn't talk about it again until the day before.

Then it was off to the enjoy the evening with our best friends! I'd post their picture.. but I need to ask them first. I can't wait to share our friendship with the Whittens! That's another blog, though.

Sunday  - My sister and I set about getting food around for an Easter get-together. I love a gathering - just ask anyone who knows me. I love to feed people and pull out my decorative bowls and do whatever I can to make the whole experience comfortable and effortless! Love it!! Love it!!!

This is me and my twin sister!!!

Oh, let me back-track a few minutes... so Pook gets up and cuts the grass. Yard work is therapeutic to Rich, always has been. He finishes, gets cleaned up and comes to the kitchen. I get a huge hug and a wonderful kiss... hmm... somethings on his mind. Since I'm in cooking and entertaining mode, I knew it wasn't anything to do with me. (wink). He said "Babe, I've GOT to ride! I can't stand it... I just gotta ride". Another kiss and grin later, he takes off....

Today - it's back to the real world of work for both of us; he at the Armory, me at my office. Looking pretty damn snazzy in my new blue dress! I told Pook this morning that I may not have the same body and sex appeal that I had in my 20's, but, ehh... I'm not too bad looking in my 40's! I have no shame....

I love him endlessly -  10 thousand time!

Peace, Love & Daisies!

"Mama I'm Comin' Home...."

Rich comes home today!!! We are so excited!!

It's day (effing) 10! 

Peace, Love & Chocolate Bunnies!

One Day & a Wakeup....

Day 12 (damn).

Rich will be home on Saturday from Pre-D training! I am sooo glad - it's been a lonely 2 weeks! It'll be great to have him in my space again. The downside is that it signifies that D-Day is coming like a f'ing freight train and there's not a damn thing to do about it! These 2 weeks will be nothing compared to the long deployment coming. Okay - I'm going to stay positive and not wallow in this until it's time!

Sooooo....  I have a grandson. That's one of those things you didn't know about me. My grandson lives on the other side of the US and will turn 2 in a couple of months. Pook was able to get in a visit while out in that area for pre-d training and spend some time with our son, DIL and little grandson. We aren't geographically able to watch him grown up and be an active part of his life, but we know that he has wonderful, caring parents and that somehow, no matter how far away we are (Alabama or Afghanistan), will always keep the light in our grandson on for us! Thank you N&M, we love you!

Peace, Love & Bowl of Chocolate Ice cream!