One Cupcake Too Many...

My name is Renee and I love Wine! Does that make me a wino? Hmmm... maybe, but who the hell cares?! I like to consider myself well-rounded in the art of drinking wine. I'm actually a red-wine snob...love it...had to work up to that point all the way up from a blush zinfandel wine. One of my FAVORITE wines is from the Cupcake Vineyards . Not that I discriminate; I am not that picky ~ as long as it's red or a dry white!


After work I grabbed my laptop and headed next door to the Whittens for our ritual Friday Night Winery. We enjoyed some Bogel Wine with pretzels before moving onto Cupcake Wine (Cabernet) and left over, warmed up pizza. Rich Skyped in and we got to talk for a while - almost like old times (us and the Whittens on Friday night...having a bottle glass of wine or two (or three) and running down our week. (I sure love and miss him...so much more than anyone really knows or understands).

Now I'm, home - a tad-bit tipsy and it's only 9:39pm (2139). Here at home it's quiet. I can hear the hum of the refrigerator and nothing else. Even the dogs are knocked out - Annie with her head hanging off the couch - Jake's probably sprawled on my bed.

In the silence I realize just how much I am over this deployment. There are so many young milspouses out there that are proud to be going through deployments because it makes them feel empowered &  are stronger.. I'm sure they are. I was strong before the deployment and still strong - life and death have a way of molding you to strength you ever thought existed. But, I've been where they are in some form or fashion - when the new wears off and you are raising your kids alone with too many bills and not enough money...it's not so much fun anymore. There nothing wrong with it..again, I've been there, lived it, wear the scars.  Really. Now...Fast forward 20 -25 years.

As for me, I am over this deployment! Call it having one Cupcake too many - I could care less...but I'm over it! Rich and I have raised our kids, we've been through the lean, lean years, we've done the whole 'focus on the career' thing, we've got our college educations, we've 'been there and done that' in more ways that anyone could think existed.....but at this very moment - I am ready to have deployment over and done - to have my boring middle-aged life back. There is NO Shame in my game! To have Rich home and enjoying the life of empty-nesters now that ALL of our children are out in the World in their own lives...to just be 'me & Rich'...WOW! In time (God willing) deployment will be over and my husband will be home.....I know this ( believe it to be true). Right this minute, though~ I hate the silence and the emptiness. Thank goodness for Cupcakes!

Oh, there's absolutely no rhyme or reason for this post - other than I've got a buzz and it's my blog!