Wet Cake Brains

Every day (Mon-Fri) I get up, get dressed and head to my job. I work in a nice office building. I have a great view of the grounds outside of my office. My hours are flexible and I never feel rushed or guilty about taking a long lunch or leaving early if I needed to. My boss doesn't stand at my neck 8 hours a day watching my every move. I have set work hours; Mon-Fri. 8am-5pm but can work a flex-schedule if I need to do something outside of work. My career field is interesting and I've been in it for 14'ish years.

I have a job!

Perfect, right?!

Yes...it's perfect.

BUT......................

I spend 7 hours out of the 8 hours bored to tears and looking for shit to do. (Yes, I've blogged about this subject before, but it's my blog and I can blog about it a zillion times if I want to). I actually feel like my brain is turning to mush and my professional ego has imploded to nothing.

I miss the challenge of my job. I miss being balls-to-the-wall busy..the kind of busy where I come in everyday, go from one task to another until time to close up shop and go home from the day totally exhausted.

I miss having deadlines and expectations. I miss feeling accomplished when I've done something great or even something small and meaningful. I miss knowing that my work is valued - and being given more challenging responsibilities once I've been deemed ready. I miss being in control of my professional destiny.

  

Jobs in my career field are scarce and the local market is thin as tissue paper; especially in the professional arena. I can't just throw my resume out there in the wind and hope that someone sees it at the right moment. There is a discretion and selectiveness that has to be considered - HR folks know each other around here.

What's that you say??
"Go tell your boss that you need more responsibility".

Sounds great on paper, but in a work environment focused on cutting indirect cost (e.i. my job and others like it), I would rather eat crickets than jeopardize the job I do have. I am smart enough to not complain and damn well smart enough to look busy even when my brains are dripping out of my ears. The truth is...we are just not THAT busy around here (thanks to all of the awesome budget cuts in Military and Space exploration spending).

How long can I keep up this facade without major prescription drugs, because I seriously thinks it's driving me crazy!?

It's got me thinking...is it time to redirect my career? Go in a different field and dance among other types of flowers?  Or do I continue to look outside of my glass walls at what used to be, keep my pie-hole clamped tight and shuffle papers back and forth?

Peace!