To My Children...

I have loved you from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you....truly surprised both times..but I fell in love with you from that second I knew.

Your early childhood sucked for the most part; I will be the first to admit. I drug you through divorce, marriage and moving from one house, school and city more than any child should have ever been subjected to. Through it all we stuck together and relied on each other as a trio-force. We were all kids raising each other when I wasn't strong enough or equiped enough to be the parent you deserved.

I want to say Thank You. Thank you for being a significant support to me while I muddled through trying to grow up and become the Mother and adult you wanted and needed me to be. When your friends seemed to have a 'normal' family you were tethered to me. You loved me despite my short comings.

Thank you for telling me "its okay " when it wasn't. Thank you for not once stripping me down to blood and bones for the many mistakes I made and for which you had to suck up. You never punished me for my imperfection or my total losses of common sense. Thank you for never making me feel more guilty and ashamed than I already felt.

Thank you for growing with me as I found my way to adulthood and into a home life that we had always dreamed of.

Thank you for not using the words I know were probably on your tongues to remind me of the many ways I failed you. It would have been so easy for you...and even today.. to express the level of your disappointment in me.
I love you for holding the hurtful words that were so valid and rightful.

I cannot ever take back to crazy choices and life we had to live with for a several years. I will never be able to give you back the stability you missed out on or the the comfort of a long term home that you didn't have when you were growing up.

Its because of you that I wanted to be a better person. Because of you I found the desire and will to always obtain work to support us..cleaning bed pans, answering phones or renting out vidoes. Because of you I went to college and developed a career. I learned to trust and love.

I can never thank you enough...

Thank you!
I love you both endlessly!