Monday, August 25, 2014

Harder Than I Thought

My aunt is dying. My Mother's youngest sister. I thought since I didn't live near her or talk with her on a regular basis, that it wouldn't hurt so deep. I was wrong. The end of her life is nearing. My heart and stomach clinch in grief and I feel saddened for my cousins and Uncle. Since Mom and Dad died I put up this wall of strength towards death and dying. I lived through that trauma, nothing could hurt me as deeply after that. I became synical and unsympathetic, while at the same time not looking at death as personal any longer. Until now. It is personal..... it does hurt....it is here and I don't want to feel it.

Peace

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The Dark Days

I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace