The Catch

The emotions that tighten around my throat are so strong. I don't think I can breath anymore. The catch deepens with each tear that tries to fall. Kind of like a bark collar...each bark sends a signal at the sound, teaching a dog not to bark. I am the dog...but not. I begin to cry and my throat closes around itself. It catches - teaching me not to cry empty tears. 

I am tired. So tired. 

I can only use so much lipstick to mask what lurks underneath.  The thoughts that plague my head are dangerous and they scare me. The pull, the push, is almost too much that I want to throw my hands up and surrender. To stop the madness that I become when I am left to my own self. I am not made for this. I am not strong enough for this.

I am tired.

So tired.

Peace