Career Fairs UnWrapped...

Human Resources...a job that is envied by many because it looks 'so fun'. While it can be challenging at times and interesting at other times - 'fun' and 'cool' are not necessarily words that describe the world of HR in any field.

One function of HR that I have had the pleasure and burden of carrying is Recruiting and the dreaded (bleck) Career Fair duty. The worst time to attend is when you've just laided off a large amount of people because of Goverment budget cuts and we HAVE to go to the career fair and put on a great corporate citizen act! Now, I've supported many a-career fair in my lengthy career and have had some great times doing so.  It also helps to attend career fairs with interesting people that can pick up on the your queue of "help me please...this guys just won't leave" and will make up an excuse to get me out of there.

In today's job market career fairs are pointless. Yes, I said that! Companies are NOT doing a great deal of hiring and may only have a handful of openings. For the next few moments I want to 'unwrap' the lure of the Career Fair world and hopefully save you a few step along your job hunting road:

1. Attending career fairs is part of the companies annual recruiting plan. Most companies pay for these events at the beginning of the year and we go whether we have any jobs opens or not. We are collecting resumes. Don't assume that because a company is participating that they have openings.
2. You will (typically) not be interviewed at a career far. We are there to promote our company, fulfil our recruiting obligations, and take your resume if you bring one. We may talk for a few minutes but we are gauging your work experience and your personality. If we like you, we may remember you.
3. Giving your resume at a career fair does not - I repeat - does not 'apply' you for a job. We take it, look at it and it may not be looked at again.
4. 95% of companies have an online applicant system -  you must apply on line! Some systems are complicated and you may get frustrated but it is the ONLY way to be considered a viable candidate. NO, giving us your resume does not 'get you in the system'.
5. Before going to a career fair DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Look at the company listing, go online and see what jobs are actually open. Identify only the companies that have opening that fit your background - don't just open the net and throw your resume to every company.
6. Do NOT walk up to a company and say "What do ya'll do"? You should effing KNOW this! No points for you!
7. Please, please, please dress appropriate! Ladies - no hooker shoes, mini-skirts, low-cut or bare shoulder/halter top/spaghetti strap/ill-fitting shirts. Please... do something with your hair that does not look like you've just climbed out of bed. We will make fun of you once you walk away otherwise! Guys - please don't dress in shorts and t-shirts, a 3-pc suit is not necessary. Think business casual and a hair cut.
8. Tic-tac! Deodorant!
9. Do not walk up an give me your resume without saying a word...just stand there. I will smile at you and be screaming "dumb ass say something" in my head. Look me in the eye and open your mouth and introduce yourself and tell me what you are looking for.
10. When I ask "What kind of job are you looking for?"...DO NOT say "ANYTHING". So sorry - we don't have a job titled 'Anything'. Don't say "Whatever you have" or "a Job". Dumb ass - you should already know what kind of job you want and be able to tell me what that is and why you feel you qualify for it.
11. Do not walk up to a company as ask "What openings do you have?" or "What are ya'll looking for?" I'm going to ask you.."What are YOU Looking for"? First of all..you haven't even bothered to look at any openings we may have - I'm not about to run down the laundry list. Thank you - please move along because there are literally 20 people waiting in line behind you.
12. Please - by all things Holy...Do NOT name-drop! We cringe when you open your mouth and start dropping names of our Executives and management staff. We could care less if you go to church with so & so, and the fact that your little Timmy is on the soccer team with our CFO's little nephew means nothing other than you are a complete idiot who can't get a job on your own merit. The last time I checked...we aren't hiring idiots!
13. Please know that the fact that you went through college..AS, BS and MBA without working a single day in your life - working as a research assistant and lab technician in the Science lab - is not impressive and will not qualify you for a job in the real world. Think co-op or internships....hell, even Target pushing buggies.
14. Get your date of birth, spouses name, year you graduated high school, every job you've held for the past 20 -25 years, off of your resume! And don't give your resume in a binder, a folder, or one of those neat folders that say "resume" on it. We take our your resume and throw away or reuse the binders and folders. You've wasted your money and does not make you stand out. That is up to YOU!
15. Don't be a pompous ass and think that your vast experience gives you the right to be a pompous ass to me. Trust me...your resume will never be seen again once I leave that career fair!
16. For those of you getting out of are recently separated for the Military... listen up! I completely respect that you led missions and troops and coordinated activities. But you HAVE to be able to tell me what kind of job YOU want and how your skills can transfer to the civilian job market. And nooo.....you can't all be managers or business analyst. If you don't know what you can do, then how can I? if you are in the Armed Forces and think at any point in time that you will need a civilian job...please further your education if you can!

Your best option if you are in the job-hunting market? Go online and apply!
Okay..I think that's all! Question?