Great Expectation

One of the most difficult part about being a parent is being a parent to adults.  When children are small and growing up Christmas is a magical time.  We rocked around the Christmas tree,  drank hot chocolate on Christmas eve,  drove around looking at Christmas lights and had our little family traditions. Christmas morning began with a breakfast and the annual destruction of colorful wrapping paper - then sometimes or children left for other family events.  Still, those Christmas times were sacred.

As children do. ...they grow up, have families of their own and begin their own traditions. Our family Christmas Carol has changed from "I'll Be Home for Christmas " to "Please Come Home for  Christmas". This growth  of our children can...and does... sting my heart, but I know that it's just me trying to hang one to the old traditions and attempting to recapture that feeling of those early years as a family. In truth, our family is not the same. Our children have spouses and children of their own.  They are playing their own balancing act between my husband and I, their own family, and the families of their spouses. I remember that feeling and am utterly ashamed that, not only have I placed an unrealistic expectation on myself but on our children also.

This year.... from this moment on... I vow to myself to just let it go and give or children a gift that can't be bought. ..the gift of respect and emotional space to decide how they want to spend the holiday.  The freedom to be where they want to be without my pride and visions of the past preventing me (and them) from accepting this new opportunity to celebrate the holiday with peaceful hearts.

I love want my children to know that I love them,  that I look forward to their visits, and am grateful  for our time together.

The time  we all have with those we love never seems to be enough and never ceases to be precious.  Instead of grieving my dashed expectations I want to savor those moments we do share,  however  brief or  imperfect they may be.

Peace