One This Day

Sometime in the morning of December 29, 2009, my mother took her last breath. I will never, ever, ever forget that morning - each second replays in my head like an 8 mm filmstrip. There are dark nights when I want to push the STOP button and make the visions and voices in my head cease - I want to simply forget that morning and live as if it never happened.

Five years. I can't believe it has been five years. She was my sunshine, my sparkle, my glitter, and my very best friend. My Mother, my Mom, my Mama. She taught me to laugh, to find joy in the smallest things - that silver lining. She taught me to love makeup, Jesus and sequins. She sang "Rock of Ages", "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Thank You Lord For Your Blessings On Me" like an Angel, and learned to play "The little bunny, he hops" (or was it a frog??) on the old piano. She took belly-dancing lessons in the 70's, sported a hot-pink bikini, and jeggings in the 80's. She loved with every part of her and was stronger than any woman I have ever known in my lifetime! She is the best part of who I am today.

I miss her..her voice, her laugh (oh, her laugh), the way she would cock her head and shrug her shoulder at something absurd that my Dad said, the way she left his absurdity roll off. I miss sitting around her table on Royal Avenue and drinking coffee until our blue eyes turned brown.... the endless talking. I miss her lips on mine as she kissed me hello and good bye. God knows how I miss her!

Five year. Too many days have passed since this day long ago. I am not the same person without her - but I'm better now because of her.

Peace