To My Children...

I have loved you from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you....truly surprised both times..but I fell in love with you from that second I knew.

Your early childhood sucked for the most part; I will be the first to admit. I drug you through divorce, marriage and moving from one house, school and city more than any child should have ever been subjected to. Through it all we stuck together and relied on each other as a trio-force. We were all kids raising each other when I wasn't strong enough or equiped enough to be the parent you deserved.

I want to say Thank You. Thank you for being a significant support to me while I muddled through trying to grow up and become the Mother and adult you wanted and needed me to be. When your friends seemed to have a 'normal' family you were tethered to me. You loved me despite my short comings.

Thank you for telling me "its okay " when it wasn't. Thank you for not once stripping me down to blood and bones for the many mistakes I made and for which you had to suck up. You never punished me for my imperfection or my total losses of common sense. Thank you for never making me feel more guilty and ashamed than I already felt.

Thank you for growing with me as I found my way to adulthood and into a home life that we had always dreamed of.

Thank you for not using the words I know were probably on your tongues to remind me of the many ways I failed you. It would have been so easy for you...and even today.. to express the level of your disappointment in me.
I love you for holding the hurtful words that were so valid and rightful.

I cannot ever take back to crazy choices and life we had to live with for a several years. I will never be able to give you back the stability you missed out on or the the comfort of a long term home that you didn't have when you were growing up.

Its because of you that I wanted to be a better person. Because of you I found the desire and will to always obtain work to support us..cleaning bed pans, answering phones or renting out vidoes. Because of you I went to college and developed a career. I learned to trust and love.

I can never thank you enough...

Thank you!
I love you both endlessly!

The Vote

Well today is the day everything or nothing changes. We will know which way the wind blew later tonight.

Unfortunately regardless of the outcome, lines and common sense will be crossed by voters and non-voters in protest. Facebook and Twitter may very well blow to smitherines! It will feel like there is not an end or relief in sight from the winning side or the losing side.

I cast my vote like I hope many have done. Rolled the dice and pulled the one armed bandit....

Its all a gamble.

Remember the House always wins. Let's see who get the key to the front door.

Peace

Needing a Half-Size!

I have fallen into a size that drives me flipping crazy. In shirts I am a Medium...I am a Large. I am not small enough to fit a Medium (comfortably) and I am not big enough to wear a Large. I end up buying a Large then spend most of the time pulling it up in the front or tucking it in more in the back. In pants I am a size 12 butt with a size 10 waist. And in a dress I am usually a size 12/14 in the hips and a size 10 in the top portion.

I could use some half-size help here. How about a Medium and a half? Or a 10.5 or an 11! You would THINK the fashion world would catch on!!

It's no secret that I have had a little elective work done... there was this breast reduction thing (best thing EVER) that I did 5 years ago. Then a year ago I had a tummy tuck. Once you have a tummy tuck (any lipo whatsoever), the chances of fat-cells collecting back in the same place are very small. So where do they go? Weeeelllll....that would be my butt and upper thighs of course.
Of course!
My hourglass turned into a pear!
My bidonkidonk could seriously hurt someone if I bumped into them just right!
There is toooo much junk in my trunk!
I'm looking like a Khardashian without the skin color, hair color and money!!

No more surgery...just hard work is what it will take to lighten my rear-end!! I'm slowly getting there but I have a long way to go! Until then, I will just keep shaking what my Mama gave me and be grateful I'm not sporting a flat one!

Peace!

Why Bother

I ask myself.......

Where Did Halloween Go?

(face in the palm....huge sigh.......................)

Halloween just isn't what is used to be ~
There was a time when little (and even not-so-little kids) dressed up in costumes, grabbed a plastic pumpkin to haul their yummy loot, and yell "Trick-or-Treat" when you opened the door. Those times were soooo much fun!

The Ghost, the Witches, the Super Heros, the Cartoon favorites.....

This year we had maybe 12 Halloweeners - only 5 in true costumes that fit the occasion.The others....not so much. Those that darkened our door were not in costumes...weren't even thrilled to be there...just give them the damn candy so they can go away. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

We ended up with way more candy than we need to have in the house (but we are not going to part with it ;o)) and we were disappointed in the lack of initiative and excitement of Halloween. I got to see a lot of pictures of Trick-or-Treating kids on Facebook today - which I LOVE!!! But I was secretly jealous that we missed out!

Oh...we did get THE CUTEST little Trick-or-Treater - she made up for what we missed....my Granddaughter, Evie - our own little Garden Gnome!

Peace!