Yes I Did

I am 49 and sliding into 50 a little faster than I want. With lipstick in hand I will arrive early at the 50 years mark with as much grace as I can muster. There are moments in my adult years where I could look in the mirror and say "Girl, you are looking good"! I was thin, cute'ish  and admittedly a little cocky about my youth.

Then....aging took over and the train sped up. Wrinkles, lumps, gray hair, post-surgery menopause.
Oh my.

I will never be as young as I am right this second. Tomorrow I will be older than today. Call it vanity, insanity, or whatever....I wanted to capture the true essence of who I am, and how I view myself. AT
the this age, in this time of my life...

So, I did this. I cannot wait to see the pictures.

For me.

Peace

Thanks Dad

When I look back over the non material things I inherited from my parents I am somewhat grateful.

Somewhat.

From my mother I got her ability to love unconditionally, the love of taking care of others, and feeding their bodies with good food and love. I think I also got her ability  to suck up and keep going. I have her facial structure,  hair color and her infinite love for glitter and shine.

From Dad. ...well. I can be a loose cannon sometimes. I got his "fight for family" even when they are wrong attitude. I also  got his ability to......

Let it rip. 

Toot.

 Fart. 

Cut one (or two) loudly. 

Cut the cheese. 

Let the dog bark. 

When I exercise, run, laugh, cough, sneeze, lay on my side.....I sound like....well. my dad. When it is particular  embarrassing  to me, alone, I look up and say, "Gee. Thanks Dad".

There are moments alone that I not embarrass myself, but even the dogs say "WTH?". I get that...I understand.

 

I have cut back of food that causes gas...without change.  Since my husband has been gone I have had full reign to just let go...and trust me, I have.

 

I have less than 2 months to pull this flatulence freedom in...to re-train my body to behave like the gentile southern woman I am.

Wish me luck!

Peace

Tying a Knot...

As this deployment winds down the the end, with each passing day, I feel like my nerves are snapping like dry twigs. My patience is running thin and I am drawing in the disbelief that the end will eventually come. With the days droning on like the equivalent of waiting for water to boil, I get less and less enthused. The cold lonely nights alone are starting to piss me the hell off. In less than two months he will be home to warm his side of the bed....I get that... but today, tonight, and the rest of them until then...makes me a tad bitchy. I am tired of not having my husband. 

We will never do this again. 

Ever.

I'm over, done and don't even have a damn shirt to show for it. So far this has been the longest 9 months of my life!

I know the end is close. The marked off days on the calendar are proof. I will feel excited. I will feel happy. I feel loved.

But, not right this minute.

Nope.

Peace

Loss of a Wish

From the moment Timmy Gibson asked me to write down the words to "I Can't Tell You Why" so he could give them to his girlfriend, Susan...I was hooked. That was in the early 80's and I was somewhere around 14, sitting in my bedroom with an 8 track of "Hotel California", a pencil and a piece of notebook paper from my 3-ring binder. I sat cross-legged for hours (days) playing a few words, then fast-forwarding through the tape back to the next few words. Back then an 8-track tape only went in one direction... forward. I spent countless hours listening to the Eagles over and over and over and over, until I finally had each and every word to that song committed to my young memory, along with all of the other songs - and my love for The Eagles was born.

It wasn't until sitting in my bedroom floor that I realized The Eagles sang one of my very first musical memories, "Witchy Woman". Though I was too young to know who they were back at age 6-7, I never forgot the song. When I was in my early 20's I dated a deaf guy, who I turned into a huge Eagles fan. Even though he couldn't hear the words, he felt the beat of the vibration while I signed the words to every song. That was pretty cool! "I Cant Tell You Why" had been my favorite song since the days of 8-track and and I still sign it whenever it plays on the radio.
 
I don't remember what ever happened between Timmy and Susan, but I do know that my "boys" took me through some hard time, happy times, craziness, sadness, love and life over 35 years since those days in my bedroom. When I was lonely, they were there to ease my loneliness. When I was happy they were there to celebrate with me.... this one band, among untold others, stood with me through the tests that time and life threw at me.  They were my mood music, regardless of what mood that would be.

From my earliest love of them until today, my only musical wish - dream-hope was to one day see them in concert. Whether it was time, space, or money.....the "one day" slipped away. Today Glenn Frey died, taking my 'one day' with him. Gone was the hope and dream of "one day" I will see The Eagles play live in concert. No other passing of a musical great has hurt my heart as much as the death of my most wished wish of my life. The Eagles, without Glenn, have ceased to be...

I am truly heart broken.

Peace

The Eagles - It's your World Now

Two Days In

We are 2 days into a new year and already I haven't  accomplished much. I laid around...literally...ALL DAY new years day.  I wasn't  even near nursing a hangover, I only had one drink and was in  bed by 8:30 New Years Eve; I was just tired and needing to rest a foot injury. To be honest, I didn't  change out of my jammies, take a shower, or put a brush to my hair. I was the epitome of a hot mess!! Gosh, it felt kinda good!

Today I spent time with my daughter-in-law and niece doing a bit of thrifting - such a great time! My evening was quiet and restful.  Sure wish my husband was here to enjoy it with me - counting down the stinking days!!

Tomorrow my youngest son turns 26. How and when did that happen?? He has become a man before my eyes and working hard at college.....I am so, so  so proud of him! 26.....🎂🎁🎈 where did the years go? I fell in love with him the very moment I laid eyes on him. Despite the toughest years, I still have that feeling in my heart for him. He is a great deal like his Dad and that makes me extremely  happy!

So, 2016. What a new beginning.

Peace