And They Went 2 by 2....& Flashback Friday!

All together now..... (BIG SIGH OF RELIEF)... thanks!

So.... plans are a-changing for Pook and his "Band of Brothers"! They found out when they arrived in Kuwait that they were NOW going to their year-long home away from home in pairs!!! YEA!!!!!! This makes me feel sooooo great! Pook will have one of his Brothers with him!! (can I get a Waahooo?) As a wife of a deployed Soldier - this gives me a huge amount of relief and comfort. Don't you just LOVE military changes?!? I know, I know... it could change again before they arrive - but for right this minute... I'm a happy Wife!

So, Pooks been gone 3 1/2 weeks and I STILL can't fold down the covers on his side of the bed at night! I actually tried the other night to claim the whole bed but it ate at me for a few minutes until I got up, made his side back up, and got on my half! Isn't that just the damned thing you've ever heard? Now, it only took me about... oh, 1/2 day to claim his side of the vanity in the bathroom - now I have two sinks and the whole length of the vanity to myself and my stuff! And our closet.... mine! I don't worry about him tripping over my shoes, running into a hanger sticking out from my section of the clothes rack (because I've just breezed through and pulled something off the hanger), or feeling ashamed because I'm such a closet slob while his clothes ever so perfectly sorted by type, color, sleeves (ahem..OCD...cough)! See - there are perks to this deployment!

Oh, one more thing that I haven't been able to do since Rich has been gone. His gym bag that he used our last night together (we stayed at a hotel near the armory) is still in the back of the car. I know it's there... but I just can't make myself get it out. I think it's the whole.. if I get it out..then I have to empty it and then if I do that, I may have to wash his shirt or anything that smells like him. I KNOW.. I know you are all rolling your eyes at this - but it really is like a security blanket for me in a weird kind of way.

 Well, it's Flashback Friday! Since I'm not in a place where I can get to my treasure trove of pictures..... and since Rich isn't here to stop me (tee hee hee)...I'm pulling out a Flashback pic for your entertainment, of Him! (Honey - it's Flashback Friday... I'd look like a dork if I didn't join in. It's the ONLY picture I have with me to show. Kiss..kisss..hope you understand).

Flashback:  A young Airborne Soldier at 18 (this is such a hysterical picture!!!!!)


Hot, Hot, Hot at 45!

Thank you for all of your sweet comments about our OpLove pictures!! They sure are awesome! If you didn't check them... take a gander: Our OpLove Pictures (go to Client Galleries and type: richardson)

Love, Peace & Happy TGIF!

Broken Silence, Love & OpLove....

It all started Tuesday night.

If you've followed along the bouncing ball of my blog, you are aware that I lost my parents right after Christmas. It truley was, and remains to be, the most devasting thing my family & I have gone through. Whether they are just dreams or true "coming to" moments, Mom & Dad have 'come to' several of my family members; giving a word of peace, encouragement, comfort, love. When I found that Daddy had come to another member of my small family - I was hurt, frustrated, jealous. I threw up a "what the hell" open letter to my Mom & Dad; as I couldn't understand why I haven't even had not one dream about them in 4 months. It wasn't a hateful letter, but I pitched a major hissy fit to my parents - those that know me, know I can be the Queen of Hissy Fits! Trust me when I say, Mom & Dad probably knew it was coming at some point and probably looked down and just watched it unfold. I wasn't ashamed of my words in the least; as they were how I felt and were words I would've spoken to them in life. Whether or not you believe that those that have gone on really do come to you in your dreams, it gives a comfort to know that somewhere up there, you are still loved.

Well, my post received some air time on FB; which started a whole new ball of wax! So I deleted my post (I wish I hadn't), and retreated. I certainly don't mind a comment (I actually encourage it), but I was taken back that it was done openly in FB. Long story short - everything is fine now and my family member & I now have found a peaceful common ground to stand on. Thanks Dad!

Okay... moving on...

The call from my husband came at 1:30am this morning! It was sooooo amazing to hear his voice for those few minutes. He had arrived in Kuwait, awaiting the next phase in his journey. (And NO... OPSEC has not been violated here). We got to FB chat for a little while this morning after I got to work! I'm hoping we can chat a few more time today while he's in limbo.

Moving on... again!

I am so excited!!! I finally got the link to our OpLove phote session and I want to share!!!!

http://www.lighthouselifeinpictures.com/

Main site
Client Galleries
Password: richardson

So, all is right in my world right now!

Love, Peace & Happy Thursday!

Going Silent......

Clearly, I can't post my feelings, thoughts, frustrations or pain here..otherwise it becomes public fodder on FB.

My words have hit a wall... I thought there was a freedom to speak, to express, to share....a reminder that nothings free. You may not truley understand how deep the sorrow feels to feel like  I need to be silent.

 I'm going Silent for a while to think.

Here's something for Wordless Wednesday.... Meet Joey!

Only to Begin Again..

It's been 17 days since the deployment clock started, but the real beginning has begun. The thought of actual 'boots on the ground' scares the hell out of me. There's a destination of unknown for my husband and a journey of counting, praying, tears (lots of those), unknown, fear and breathing in & out for me. I'm not ready but there's no turning back. My husband goes in alone..more than a year...one man...no friends or battle buddies to have his back.  The other 3 Soldiers in his team all go alone, each to their own destinations - same scenario. That's so fucked up in so many way! It saddens me to the deepest of my very core. A team of four brothers that have trained together, grown together, laughed together, cried together, and trust each other .... sent out to the winds. Who will have my husband's back? Who will have the other's backs? As I write those words I cry...I'm so sad and so scared.

I Love You, Babe - 10,000 Times!

A young Army Soldier - just turned 18! Showing his toughness for the camera. The back of the Pic said that he (Rich) was trying to look "bad ass" and his friend was trying to look scared! LOL

28 years later - my husband is still Bad Ass!

Love, Peace & More Peace & Love

I Know What Hell Looks Like.....

It looks like a huge rat!

So, check this out....I work all day, pick up my sister at 5:00pm and boot-scoot 1 1/2 hours to our great-niece's 2nd Birthday Party. Not only were we driving toward the West where a huge severe thunderstorm with a 'strong potential for funnel clouds' is making its way East... but it actually starts to rain by the time we arrive at Chucky Cheeses hell! Yep, Friday night, birthday parties everywhere, kids high on tokens and blinky lights, parents already looking haggard and worn out as they wait for pizza to arrive while chasing the kids around.

The "band" was just getting ready to start their gig (still freaky looking after all these years)....when all of the sudden.....THE FLIPPING LIGHTS GO OUT!!!!! Yep. Out. Dark. Kids start screaming, parents are running around yelling for their kids, with cellphone drawn to illuminate them towards the epi-center of fun!  It turns into complete pandemonium!

We wait... we wait...hey~ look... they brought our pizza (lucky for us our food was at the end of the oven and ready to serve ~ Bonus). Like the insensitive folks we are, we eat in the dark by pen light and cell phone while everyone else is bitching and moaning at the Manager ... "We're hungry, when can we get our food"? "When will the lights come back on"? .. "What are you doing about it?"  The Manager was a pro at handling the situation; very calm. I'm sure she wanted to scream "Well, the ovens don't work because there's no effing electricity, so you won't get your pizza! I have no effing idea WHY the electricity if off and I'm sitting on my ass not doing anything, just for the hell of it". She was very professional but I'm sure that's what she was thinking!

So, after an hour...the sun was going down fast and before long we would be plunged in total darkness inside Chucky Cheeses with still screaming kids and parents., Rhonda and I did the whole kiss and hug and got the heck out of dodge. It was the LONNNGGEEST hour and a half drive home!

Now as my nerves are calming I think I will pour a nice size tumbler of Cabernet to ward off any nightmares that may come.

Love, Peace & "Say No To Chucky Cheeses on a Friday Night When There's a Storm Brewing"!

I Remember When...

I LOVE technology! Rich makes fun of me because there's always some new technology gadget that I want. Not that I always get it, but it's free to want. Right?! Take the cell phone ~ I remember when they didn't exist! (I hear a gasp out there). The first one I saw/used was a huge bag phone that was heavy, cumbersome and and generally a pain in the ass to operate. That was about the time that pagers started coming into play as a means of 'getting in touch" with someone. I loved that little thing! I still used one when Rich and I met. That's right - I didn't have a cell phone 13 years ago. When I finally got a cell phone, the only way to use it at home was to stand in the front of the house, on the left side of the mailbox and and turn ever so slightly to the right! We've come a long way Baby! Yes, I remember that commercial!

Another bit of technology that I am attached to is my computer! Wow... the first computer I ever saw was a cheap little thing called the Commodore 64! We had one (my first ex and I) and I'm not even sure we even figured out what (if anything) it was supposed to do - we were dirt poor, fresh to the Army, one kid and one on the way, still literal kids ourselves...gees...I think we ended up pawning it to buy food or diapers several times until we finally just let it go. Yeah, we've both come a long way since! In the late 80's, after a divorce and coming back home, I came in contact with a REAL computer and ....well, here I am today.

This trip down memory lane is really a reflection to how technology will keep me and Rich connected through this deployment. The only thing I dread are the times of no-communication. I even bought a small netbook today to take with me every where on the chance that we get to Skype without a moment's notice.Who wants to lug around a regular laptop all the time?


We Skyped last night for an hour. As soon as his face came on screen I cried! Even now - I SEE him online...but he must be checking email, facebook, and blogs before he Skypes me. The waiting is killing me!!! HURRY UP RICH!!!! I need to see your face!

Well, there's no real reason for the blog tonight... I'm just expending pent-up nervous energy while waiting (im)patiently for Rich to CALL ME!!!

Peace, Love & a "I hope you hear from YOUR Honey"!

P.S.  I LOVE Skype!! We talked for about 30 minutes! I miss him endlessly! He updated his Blog, too: Rich's Blog.

My Sister's Blog:  Soul Searcher

Wordless Wednesday...

Deployment Sucks!

Just Checking...

Pook and I have been married  a long time - 12 1/2 years. We both had been married before and had children we were raising. Money was tight and sometimes, I swear you could hear George Washington cry in pain... we were THAT tight. We had modest jobs, working our way to a raise every chance we could, as our eyes glazed over at the debt we both brought into our marriage. Not that we had poor credit or had been irresponsible with money, but sometimes it's just easier to take mounds of previous debt with you when you leave a bad relationship, than to bicker over it and prolong the end. Just sayin'.

Before we said "I Do" I only had 3 conditions...(1) I won't take out the garbage (hell, there were 3 guys in the house to do it), (2) I won't do yard work (I'd watch from the cool inside and take him ice water, though), and (3) I won't handle the checkbook! Now... we were both adults and both had been soley responsible for all three of those 'conditions', that's why I could stand there, tap my foot and say "not gonna do it"! Since then, I've 'helped" with the yard work - if only as a distraction (*wink*...remember that Honey??), I've hauled out the garbage more times than I wanted (the boys were just too damn lazy sometimes when Rich would travel for work - or when he went on "house strike" for almost 2 years). The house strike meant I had to do ALL of the laundry, cooking, cleaning and garbage - it was a very dark time! Lots of hallway sex! (You know the pass in the hallway and say "F-U" .. no "F-U") . It wasn't pretty!

On to #3 - I won't handle the checkbook!  I damn well meant that. There was this one (brief) time when we shared a checking account that Pook decided to let me handle the accounts. I probably could've and would've done it, had I not been pissed about it and he had not acted like a nervous-nelly and hounded me about "did you pay this, pay that? how much do we have left....". It didn't take us long to go to our own financial corners with individual bank accounts in hand. I've been happier and financially oblivious all these years. Pook got half of my pay to do "whatever he needed to do" and I got the other half to do "whatever". However, I had to pay for my gas and household groceries, and anything that I wanted to buy. He paid the bills and managed the household budget. Pure bliss to be in the "Un-know"!

A week ago last night, as Pook and I sat in our lovely hotel room to share our last night together, he gives me something so sacred and overwhelming - and then he gave me the files to the bank account! LOLOLOL. He gave me the Holy Grail of banking - our joint bank account files and password! Anyone that knows my husband can totally agree with me on this - this was a major step - only Uncle Sam and the effing deployment could pry this out of his grasp! (can I get an AMEN). Now, Rich is the Excel King - he rocks a spreadsheet like no one I've ever seen! He will spreadsheet A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G! (He probably ran a spreadsheet on marrying me - fortunately the numbers came up favorable).

So, I mention to Pook the other night that I transferred $XX out of his checking (which is actually our joint checking) to my checking so I can pay his dental bill. (It's HIS bill... see how this works?I could've paid it out of his account but I have no idea where his check book is). Pook: "Cool, I'll update my spreadsheet that I have". Uh, yeah... I'll do that too. Me: "You have a spreadhseet, too? Pook: Yeah, I have a copy so we can both make sure we are running the same numbers."WTH? He actually expects me to update the Holy Grail! Seriously? I don't even keep a checkbook register but I can tell you to the dime how much is in my account. Pook: "Oh, don't forget to add the deposits to the register". Got it!! Crap!

So, today I sat down to open up the password protected mega Excel spreadsheet. I wish I could show it to you! There are 7 tabs of data! 7! On the check register there are 7 columns, ranging from transaction code, date, description, payments, code (I have no idea what "code" means- there are only "Xs" in the column), Dep/Cred, Balance. I'm supposed to keep this updated! Hmmmm.... after looking at his method of madness for about 10 minutes, I went in and successfully entered the transfer (his bill) and recent deposits. Had to cross-reference that with the online bank statement to make sure I'm to the penny. Hot damn - I was! Fortunately, we don't have the debt we used to have, and the few things we do have is set up on auto-pay.. so I'll just have to update deposits and maybe a transfer here or there if needed - but for A YEAR!!!  Is he crazy trusting or what? I much prefer working with smaller numbers; say, like in my account!

Now, I honestly know how to manage a household, a budget and a check book! I have done this more years that probably most of my followers have been alive - it's just that I hate to do it! I hate the details and the numbers! I'm not above the task...it will get done... but I still don't wanna do it! :o)

He cracks me up!

Peace, Love & Happy Deposits!!

Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon...

Queen
A Night At The Opera (1975)
Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon
I go out to work on a Monday morning
Tuesday I go off to honeymoon
I'll be back again before it's time for Sunny-down,
I'll be lazing on a Sunday afternoon
Bicycling on every Wednesday evening
Thursday I go waltzing to the Zoo
I come from London town, I'm just an ordinary guy,
Fridays I go painting in the Louvre
I'm bound to be proposing on a Saturday night (There he goes again)
I'll be lazing on a Sunday
lazing on a Sunday
lazing on a Sunday Afternoon.

Yes, lazing on a Sunday Afternoon. Okay - really it was actually Sunday morning, afternoon and evening! There's nothing better than being lazy on Sunday; unless it's being lazy with my Love!  I got up at 7am, sat around on my computer in my Dad's PJ pants, a tank top and my Husbands flannel shirt until 11:30'ish. Then a nice bath...cleaned house - then went shopping and had dinner with my daughter! I talked to Rich a couple of times today (smiling BIG here)!!

My sister, got hooked up in blog-sphere! Like me, she has so much going through her head, that plunking the words out across the computer screen seems to help fight off the sheer edge of defeat. I hope that she can find a healing in her thoughts and in the friendships blogging brings about. I also informed her yesterday that she had to be my Best Friend now that Rich is gone! hat means she has to hang out with me (although she lives with me). She rolled her eyes and whined.."Why do I have to do that"?  Because... stop whining! She rolled her eyes at me - I know she did. I was driving and didn't SEE, but I know she rolled her eyes! 

Check out Rhonda's blog: Soul Survivor 2010

 My daughter asked me today if I had thought about what I will do with myself while her Dad is gone? Not really...did I want to take on a second job? a hobby? a project? I think she's afraid I'll be needy and clingy to her and was trying to head that off at the pass! Actually, I told her that there were a few things, projects really, that I already had in mind to tackle. I ticked them off and assured her that there would moments of sadness and loss (just as with her grandparents deaths), but that they would pass and I will be okay! It's nice to know that my children worry about me. I know they do even when they don't call and check on me, and when they aren't around - but I'm going to be okay. They will be okay! As for the projects.... I need to make a list so I don't forget them! 


Pook, if you are reading this... I love you 10,000 times! I miss you every second!


Peace, Love & a Lazing Sunday Afternoon
 

Waking up in Loserville!

This is a "wallowing" post.

It's 8am here is sunny Northern Alabama - I've been awake since 6:40... just laying here (sitting here now). Not only do I feel like I woke up in Loserville, but I actually moped around in it all last night. My journey here started when I was leaving work yesterday. Co-worker: "Hey, what are you doing his weekend?" Me: nothing. Another co-worker and I were charging for the door at 5:00... she said : "I am so glad to be going home..." Me: "Yeah, me too". I get in my car and think to myself "what the hell am I rushing home for? there's NO ONE there. I looked at my cell phone (I'm one of those bad people that make phone calls and talk while I drive), I realize that I am friendless, childless, family-less and husband-less. I got no one to call and nothing waiting for me.

I went to Publix to wonder the aisles (Loser)...I ended up buying - no shit - 2 packs of pizza rolls (buy 1 get  free), box of chicken/cheese toquitos, bag of pita chips, hummus, peanut butter pretzels, 6 pack of beer. I sat on the front porch steps eating 6 toquitos (cooked, of course) and had 2 beers for dinner. If I keep eating like that I may need to pick up smoking again! (I won't really, but it sure sounds good). I get out the laptop and check online..half a gazillion times (FB, Blog, Email, News...) - Nothing.

Rich calls after I finally take my boring ass to bed to read a book. It's like a slice of Heaven to hear his voice and talk about mindless crap! I love him and miss him ~

A half a sleeping pill puts me out of my misery gets me to sleep only to wake up still in Loserville. Same effing place - different day. I realize that  I have NOTHING to do, NO ONE to talk to or hang out with, NO where to go and NO REASON to get out of the damn bed. This realization only intensifies the sadness and I wonder how the hell I'm going to make it through the next fucking year if this is only day 7? Deployment sucks for all of those left behind - especially those that are young and having children to care for. I've been there and done that. For someone (like me) in their mid-40's, empty-nest, without a significant friend base, no 'girl friends', waking up in an empty house and empty day, it pretty well sucks.

The wallow-show is over. That's my morning so far... it's 8:36am.

8:50am... all is not lost! I go to make coffee and my sister is walking out of her bedroom (she didn't go to work today)!! 

My Awards & a Little About Me.......

I have received a couple of Awards that I have failed horribly at giving proper recognition and gratitude for. I have NO IDEA how to link to other bloggers, but you ALL are wonderful in every way and I appreciate you so much! On that note, I won't pass them along!

The Rules:

1. Thank the person you got the award from

2. Name 10 things that make you happy
3. Pass it on and contact the lucky winners

I'd like to say Thank You to Jessica at Me, Him & the Army for this Happy award! If I knew how to link to her page I'd send you there to read about her amazing life!

10 Things that make me Happy:
1. The feel of my husband's hand on the back of my neck.
2. Listening to The Eagles
3. The smell of the ocean
4. Looking back over my life and realizing that although the road had its rough moments - I'm right where I always wanted to be.
5. Hearing my little grandson calling me Ma-mama (Grandmama) on Skype
6. Lipstick (Mom always said that every thing looks better once you've put on lipstick. She was right!)
7. Hearing my husband's voice - telling me loves me "10,000 times".
8. Going Home after a trip
9. My children telling me they love me - for no reason
10. Knowing that my parents knew that I loved them with my whole heart!

                                            More Rules: 

1.Thank and link to the person that gave you the award

2. Pass this award on to 15 bloggers you've recently discovered and whom you think are fantastic

3.Contact said blogs and let them know they've won

4.State seven things about yourself

First of all - I've recieved this prestigious award from Paula at Queen of my Castle and Birdie at Soldiers Lady. I apologize if I've left anyone else off the list. You are ALL Beautiful Bloggers!!

7 Things About Me:

1. I have an identical twin sister, Rhonda. Born 5 minutes apart (I'm the oldest, but she's the dominate twin)We are in a book about twins called "Twin Stories".

2. My eyebrows (90%) fell out after a hysterectomy at 25 - I rely on Clinque Eye Brow pencils daily to put them back on! It's a pain in the ass! My fear is being one of those OLD LADYs who ends up just drawing one thin arch above each eye!

3. I have used Oil of Olay lotion (the old lady kind) on my face everyday since I was a teenager. At 43 I have few obvious wrinkles! Shout out to my Granny for getting me on that boat!

4. I spent 8 years as a sign language interpreter for deaf college students. My hands wore-out (no lie... it's an intense job) and I was forced to 'retire'. I met my husband when I was interpreting a class tour at a local company.

5. I have a group of butterflies flying up to my right shoulder - each butterfly the color of the birthstones for my children, husband and me.

6. I love the music of The Eagles. They sooth my soul when I'm sad/lonely and rock me when I'm happy!

7. I have 4 children: 2 biological children (Josh-25, Kelley-23) and 2 non-biological children (Nick-25, Brandon-20).

Thank you again for the Awards my friends!!

Peace, Love & Happy Friday!

Where are my sheep??

Ughhhh.... I can't sleep!
I did pretty good last night, but tonight...........

Blowing kisses in the wind....

 This was the Facebook message exchange between me and Rich today!

Renee Blocker Richardson to Rich Richardson: When you smile for no reason, just know that it is the kiss I blew, that is finally reaching you! I love you!

11 hours ago · Comment · · View Feedback (3)Hide Feedback (3) · See Wall-to-Wall

Rich Richardson

Caught the first one! Send more!

4 hours ago

Deployment has begun - he moved to MOB yesterday morning. I won't lie - it was difficult to leave him standing in the parking lot yesterday to load his gear into a van that would take the 4-soldier team to MS; I didn't stay to watch him leave. I had a little breakdown once I got home but mostly I was in a 'numb' state of confusion. I didn't wallow long; I got up and went out to cut the grass ~ something I haven't done (not once) in the 5 years we've lived in our home. I couldn't figure out out to start the weed-eater though; but I know a certain neighbor (hint) that can help me out with that. I moved about my day doing things here and there on auto-pilot, waiting for a phone call (I got one last night).

I've decided that I won't count the deployment days on my blog in any way ~ well, maybe just the big milestone days, but not every day. Instead I will focus on and celebrate making it through each day, 24-hours at a time. I remember when Dad had his heart attack last year and things looked grim...we were worried about "what could happen" and "what if".... the doctor told us that all we had to work towards was making it through 24 hours at a time. I remember thanking God every morning that he made it through the night and every night when he made it through the day - for 9 1/2 months until he drew his last breath and joined my Mother. As with the grief I continue to experience since my parents deaths in late December, I know the sadness and loss will come in waves, and usually when I least expect it. I also know those moments of loneliness do pass and I will find a way to fill the emptiness with laughter and life until the next wave comes through.

I know that I am strong even when I feel weak. I know that I can and will be okay even when I feel like everything is broken.

I appreciate all of the support and encouragement from my blogging friends that have been, and are exactly where I am ...I feel like part of a unique sisterhood.

Here's a few snapshots from our family vacation (minus our son, N-25, and his family):

My Lunch - Day 1 of vacation!

He's such a Goof! 

                                                                                  

I love this man!

  The Family laid out!
Styling and profiling for the camera.

Peace, Love & Sandy Beaches!

Rich's Blog: http://rchrdsn51c.blogspot.com/

Monday...I'm still in my bathrobe...

Rich reported in to work this morning to take care of whatever, before leaving tomorrow for MOB. I'm sitting on the bed, still in my pj's and robe...looking like hell warmed over... I suddenly feel overwhelmed, sad, scared and lonely all at the same time. I REALLY want my Mom and Dad right now. I wish they were here... I wish I could hear them tell me it's going to be okay. I never in a million years thought I'd have to face tomorrow without them...the grief for them and for Rich leaving just feels SO MUCH right now.

I feel frozen...I know I should  get up, do laundry, take a shower, take care of a few errands before Rich gets home today - but I really can't find the strength right now. The flood gates have opened and I'm just a crying mess.

That's all for now...,

 It's 12:24pm now. I did get up and get a shower and 'around' ,, even threw in some laundry. Rich is on his way home. I'm still sad and empty... that's normal I hear. Pook and I have a lot of last minute details to work on and then we are heading to stay the night down town near the armory.

A few days without counting...

We made it back home from our family pre-d vacation to Florida!I have to say that it was a very nice trip and there were no real meltdown to speak of. It doesn't matter how old your children  are, (ours are 20, 23 and 25, 25), at least one meltdown is expected - or else it wouldn't be a family vacation. Okay... well there was a small one that I had - I even looked at Rich and declared that I really needed to Blog to release the pressure in my head. He fully agreed but without network we just got out and about until I was sure I was able to dial back! Despite son, B-20 wanting to take off some jerks head last night and daughter, K-23 & son, J-25 having a small pissing fuss....we all agreed that it was a terrific trip. The only thing that would've made it just almost perfect - was if son, N-25 and his family could've been with us. We didn't talk about the deployment at all, I didn't count (Paula, you'd be proud)..just soaked up the time. I'll post pictures later.....

I can't wait to catch up on all of my Blog-friends happenings... seems like I've been gone so long. Maybe I can do that tomorrow while Rich is working to get the final things done at the Armory.

For now, I wish you all a peaceful night as I find my way to bed!







Tomorrow is our last day. 

Whew... Glad that's over!!

Day 6 (damn).

The OpLove session went wonderful! After a fashion show in the office, I settled for the right thing to wear. (sometimes I just don't trust my own judgment when it comes to clothes). I'm a pretty tough cookie most of the time; it's funny how small things can break your resolve when you least expect it. The photographer was terrific and I know we've got some pretty amazing pictures coming our way in a couple of weeks!

Shout out to Todd - Thanks! Not just for your comment but for your leadership and friendship. You and your family will be in my heart and prayers every single day! Mrs. CPT and I will be taking some road trips and staying close - count on it!! It's been a comfort knowing that Rich has been training with three amazing guys, who no doubt, will have his back (regardless of where you all end up)! Love and Hugs CPT!

The silent tears came in the dark hours of the morning today. I tried so hard not to cry. We didn't speak, didn't pull away - just held on for a few minutes (until my nose started running and I was about to snot on his chest)! Talk about a moment breaker! I slipped out of his arms, out of bed. Looking back at him from the glow of the bathroom light I see him watching me and smile; as Jake replaces me and is 4 paws up next to my husband.

We have a few things to do today on base - hopefully lunch with our dear friends (CPT & his lovely Mrs), then home to do some packing for our pre-D family fun in the sun in Florida!

This is my favorite picture of me & Pook! Our best friends - The Whittens -  took this several years ago!

Enjoy your day, my friends!!!

Peace, Love & a big ray of Sunshine!

Ma'am, just breathe into the paper bag...

My brain is a-scatter today! Panic-mode is what I am in right now. (no... not over the deployment - I won't think about that until next week..see yesterday's post). There is something HUGE looming... staring me in the face...it has my throat in it's clench and I am all in a tizzy. A real full-blown tizzy!!

There are 2 things that throw me into a puddle of tears:

1. Clothes Shopping

2. Trying to pick something to wear to an event

Seriously! My husband can tell you that with a straight face I can't handle the pressure!

Each morning before I get up, I lay there and mentally go through my closet and pick out what I'm going to wear to work (weekends are not included in this ritual). Without exception, I knew when I got up today that I would wear my black & white sheath with top sweater, black sling-backs and dangle pearl earrings to work. (I work in an office). Done - in and out of the closet in under five minutes! Easy-peasy! Oh, there are meltdown from time to time, but essentially I can handle getting ready for work - it's a breeze. Mostly because Rich does the shopping for me and I know when I reach in my closet, I'll find just the right thing!! That's another blog and another time!

Now, let me tell you... to throw together something to wear for a "thing"....brings me to tears! My brain freezes up and I can't visualize what to wear!!!! Pook & I are having our OpLove photos done this afternoon (park, waterfall, covered bridge....) and I tried on 3 different things last night  ~ brought them all with me to work today. 2 pants, 2 shirts and 3 shoes.....still not comfortable with any of it. Colors throw me off - what goes with what? What doesn't make me look buldgy? Or frumpy? Should I wear a longer top to hide the pudginess? Long jean capris or darks jeans? Heeled sandals? Black boots? Flats (if i wore the long capris). White shirt? Deep teal colored shirt that compliments his uniform? What the hell goes with ACU's? Damn, I should've brought my brown casual loafers! Hair up or down? Curled or straight? I'm a freaking basket case right about now! I've already called Rich to quiz him (for the zillionth time) about what he thinks I should wear. I swear that I heard his eyes roll back in head!!!

Breathe in and breathe out!
Repeat!!

Oh, my - I feel light-headed!

Time, Please Stop!

It's Day 8 already (damn!!)

Weekend Re-cap:  Saturday - I was sitting at the airport watching the time click to Rich's arrival. Like watching water boil, or paint dry, or the phone to ring... I waited. "LANDED". Waahoo!! I waitied, waited, waited..then I see two pairs of combat boots at the top of the small escalator - one set belonging to my guy! As Rich and CPT descended, both wearing shades - looking ever so cool and hot in their uniforms (sorry, Mrs. CPT.. you know it's true). Once they passes the "DO NOT ENTER" sign I jumped into the arms of my husband without any shame whatsoever!

Jake was so excited to see him too! I opened the door to the downstairs and Jake barreled out the door to jump into Rich's arms! That dog worships him!

I gave them a few moments to love on each other and play. Then exiled Jake from the bedroom for a while (wink, wink)!

We talked about our 2 weeks gone and the week to come. We established a few ground rules for our last week: (1) I will cry, but it's not to make him feel bad and I will try to do it away from him, (2) there will not be any stressing.. about work, our family vacation, the kids, or if there is dust on the mantle, (3) we will respect that deployment will be difficult for both of us (and our kids), (4)  that there may be moments of 'pulling away' as we do our best to prepare and (5) we also agreed that after that conversation, we wouldn't talk about it again until the day before.

Then it was off to the enjoy the evening with our best friends! I'd post their picture.. but I need to ask them first. I can't wait to share our friendship with the Whittens! That's another blog, though.

Sunday  - My sister and I set about getting food around for an Easter get-together. I love a gathering - just ask anyone who knows me. I love to feed people and pull out my decorative bowls and do whatever I can to make the whole experience comfortable and effortless! Love it!! Love it!!!

This is me and my twin sister!!!

Oh, let me back-track a few minutes... so Pook gets up and cuts the grass. Yard work is therapeutic to Rich, always has been. He finishes, gets cleaned up and comes to the kitchen. I get a huge hug and a wonderful kiss... hmm... somethings on his mind. Since I'm in cooking and entertaining mode, I knew it wasn't anything to do with me. (wink). He said "Babe, I've GOT to ride! I can't stand it... I just gotta ride". Another kiss and grin later, he takes off....

Today - it's back to the real world of work for both of us; he at the Armory, me at my office. Looking pretty damn snazzy in my new blue dress! I told Pook this morning that I may not have the same body and sex appeal that I had in my 20's, but, ehh... I'm not too bad looking in my 40's! I have no shame....

I love him endlessly -  10 thousand time!

Peace, Love & Daisies!

"Mama I'm Comin' Home...."

Rich comes home today!!! We are so excited!!

It's day (effing) 10! 

Peace, Love & Chocolate Bunnies!

One Day & a Wakeup....

Day 12 (damn).

Rich will be home on Saturday from Pre-D training! I am sooo glad - it's been a lonely 2 weeks! It'll be great to have him in my space again. The downside is that it signifies that D-Day is coming like a f'ing freight train and there's not a damn thing to do about it! These 2 weeks will be nothing compared to the long deployment coming. Okay - I'm going to stay positive and not wallow in this until it's time!

Sooooo....  I have a grandson. That's one of those things you didn't know about me. My grandson lives on the other side of the US and will turn 2 in a couple of months. Pook was able to get in a visit while out in that area for pre-d training and spend some time with our son, DIL and little grandson. We aren't geographically able to watch him grown up and be an active part of his life, but we know that he has wonderful, caring parents and that somehow, no matter how far away we are (Alabama or Afghanistan), will always keep the light in our grandson on for us! Thank you N&M, we love you!

Peace, Love & Bowl of Chocolate Ice cream!