I often referred to myself as a 'casual' drinker. You know the kind... you/I go to the doctor and they ask the whole series of questions about your/my habits:
"Do you smoke?" - No.
"Have you ever smoked"? - Yes.
"Do you drink"? - Yes.
"How much would you say you drink"? - Occassionally, maybe a couple of glasses of wine a week.
The part I flub on is that my 'occassionally' was almost every-single-night.
Seriously!
I have made it 8 whole days without a drink!
I thought because I drank 'occassionally' that it would be a breeze to just...S-T-O-P. It hasn't been. I used to be an 'occassional' smoker too; never 'hooked' and could 'stop whenever I felt like it' (and did off & on for many years). That ended up being a tough habit to break!
When you first stop something (not a cigarrette has passed my lips in more than 5-6 years!!!) that becomes a habit, you/I consciously think about it every day...all day. At work I start to psych myself up for when I go home to not drink. When I'm home I find myself physically talking Me through many 'withdrawel' moments until I go to bed.
And eating??? Oh my word! I have been eating non-stop at home! Instead of reaching for a glass of wine or other alcoholic treat out of bordom or habit, I am constantly rummaging through the cabinets to find something else to fill the gap!!
So to say I have made it through 8 days...may not seem like a lot; trust me when I say - it.is.a.big.accomplishment!
On to Day 9!
Peace!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
And....It's Cold and I'm Whiny!
Can I just say for the record (not sure whose record...maybe just mine) that I HATE COLD WEATHER! When you live in Alabama, where we usually have four seasons a year - cold winter weather is almost the worst one! Even when it's cold the humidity cuts right through to the bone! You almost can't come back to a normal body temperature once it hits your core!
How cold is it??
It's the kind of cold where I wish that if it's going to be this cold...snow already!!! Give us something to be cold about! Geesh Mother Nature! Then again, we can't handle snow flurries! Awww, Lawd...the World done gone and got crazy if a snow flake falls up in here! People forget how to drive, the schools close three days in advance, and there is a mad dash on the Piggly Wiggly for bread, milk and eggs (you know, for french toast!)! As it is, yesterday - F-R-I-D-A-Y, the schools announced a 2-3 hour delay for M-O-N-D-A-Y......are we expecting a blizzard??? No - just 8 degrees temperatures! Seriously, delayed just because its 'going' to be cold! Yep, folks....you have heard it all now!
It's hard to whine about 23 degrees right now when our friends up North are digging out of 8 feet of snow with no sign of reprieve! But, I still find a way to do it!
Peace (and warm tasty toes)
How cold is it??
It's the kind of cold where I wish that if it's going to be this cold...snow already!!! Give us something to be cold about! Geesh Mother Nature! Then again, we can't handle snow flurries! Awww, Lawd...the World done gone and got crazy if a snow flake falls up in here! People forget how to drive, the schools close three days in advance, and there is a mad dash on the Piggly Wiggly for bread, milk and eggs (you know, for french toast!)! As it is, yesterday - F-R-I-D-A-Y, the schools announced a 2-3 hour delay for M-O-N-D-A-Y......are we expecting a blizzard??? No - just 8 degrees temperatures! Seriously, delayed just because its 'going' to be cold! Yep, folks....you have heard it all now!
It's hard to whine about 23 degrees right now when our friends up North are digging out of 8 feet of snow with no sign of reprieve! But, I still find a way to do it!
Peace (and warm tasty toes)
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Hello 2014!
I cannot believe it is January 1, 2014! Where did 2013 go and how in hell did I get here? Looking back over the milestones, memories, sadness and excitement that came with 2013, I can honestly say that I've come a long way Baby! I didn't accomplish all that I wanted (or said I would a year ago); but I'm not so far from where I want to be either.
Have I made any resolutions? Not really resolutions - just decisions:
Peace
Have I made any resolutions? Not really resolutions - just decisions:
- I decide to be happy and know that it's okay - that I'm okay.
- I decide to begin living and stop living in my grief.
- I decide to take whatever measures necessary to lower my blood pressure so I can come off my medication.
- I decide to find ways to move my body that do not include sweating at a gym at 4:30 in the morning.
- I decide to love and respect myself and not depend on others' perception of me to drive my self-respect/self-esteem.
- I decide to love my husband more every single day.
- I decide to be present in the lives of my children and grandchildren.
- I decide to be the friend that I would want.
- I decide to admit that I feel I have a problem with alcohol...that I depend on it...that I anticipate that first drink after work...that I hate the feeling (emotionally and physically) the next morning - most mornings....that I'm unhealthy from the alcohol weight.
- I decide to stop drinking alcohol. Period.
- I decide to embrace my age and do it gracefully (but with a great dye job and makeup)!
- I decide to choose....
Peace
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