Tired

I am tired.
Of deployment
Of loneliness
Of myself
Of talking
Of silence
Of crying
Of trying
Of failing
Of life
Of living
I am tired

Note: No. I dont want to talk about this post. Don't ask me.

Facebook

This morning I did something I have wanting to do for a while....I pulled the plug on my Facebook account. For the longest time I have been over Facebook....bored with it and tired of the constant political, religious, homophobic  whinning, and memes.

Today a personal situation occured that prompted me to remove a post. As I started to do that I found myself going to my account and hitting deactivate instead. Such a moment of pure liberation.

Like any habit..if I can make it the first 30 days, I think I will be homefree...errrr, facebook free.  I will have to be diligent to maintain the real friendships the old school way. If anything, it will validate who my friends actually are.

Peace

Ugh...

This morning I woke up feeling like a complete failure. Maybe it was the fact it was another day of deployment or the self-hate I have for myself for breaking my goal not to drink, and having two beers last night at dinner with friends.
Either way I woke up feeling "off" and defeated. I spent the day in self-loathing and wanting to break something....any thing.

Now I am sitting in my car, at the airport. following a work function, and my car battery is flipping dead.

Really???

Damn

So Lame

I went to the lake yesterday after work.... I had to meet a guy from the security system company early this morning to do the install. As I putted around the lake house last night I found that the Internet wasn't working as well as I needed it to , in order for me to be entertained. So I read a magazine from cover to cover, fought to watch a few youtube videos on my tablet, then read a book through my Kindle app. After a while I gave up and took a sleeping pill and headed to be at 9 pm. So lame.....I know. Bright and early I forced myself out of bed to the shower and around for the day. The security system install too about 3 1/2 hours...but it's done and I feel safer already. During the install I needed to download an app that took forever...and ever....and a day. WTH???

Afterwards I went out and about into town...found the furniture I wanted ( babe, I need some $$$, greenbacks, cashola, money, cha-ching........really, I do!). I considered my options for an easy evening....lake....primary home. I won't say that having Internet was a deciding factor, but I did end up going to the lake, gathering my things, locking up...and heading back to town. Then again, it really was the opportunity to have a yummy dinner and evening with my neighbors, followed but a promise to go to my daughter in laws  house with breakfast, that swayed  my decision.

I am so spoiled to Internet and a cheap bottle of wine!

Peace