Never Too Old...

You're never too old to want the comfort of your Mom when you don't feel well. 

Tonight, I don't feel well and I really want 

my Mom....

my Dad...

my Husband. 

The tears won't stop as I long for each of them. 

I had surgery (a biopsy) earlier in the week 

(results were benign - Thank You God). 

My boob hurts! 

A LOT!

I'm tired, weak and feeling pretty lonely about right now. 

I'm whiny and I just want to be held. 

I want to be able to call my Mom and just hear her voice. 

I want my Dad to tell me that it'll be okay. 

I want my husband to just be here with me 

to wrap his arms around me and hold me close 

(just not on my left boob-side). 

Instead, I'm here in this darkened bedroom 

crying on my laptop and waiting for 

my pain meds to kick in. 

I miss You...

Mom

Dad

Rich!

Wordless Wednesday

It's been 194 days since I kissed his lips...I miss him!

A Monday Award!

I have been given this A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Award from my friend Kurt @ Some Things I Have Learned. If you don't follow Kurt...hit the link to his page and "Follow"! Kurt's writings are an inspiration and I look forward to reading them each time he posts!

I am also honored to have been selected to share my award with some majorly awesome Bloggers! You can get that list from Kurt's blog (and follow them, too).

With a Happy Dance (no shame in my game) and a HUGE Smile... Here is my Award!

Thanks Kurt for making my day!

Closure....Next Chapter

Last Saturday I woke to the news that God took my little Granny home. She was my last grandparent..another generation of family gone. Sunday my siblings (and a few of the kids) and I met in our hometown to do the final '"clean up" at the House.

We went through what was left, laughed a lot, packed/loaded some up and threw most out to the curb. Once our task was finished we sat in the living room, ate pizza, and reminisced about times long gone about the past 37 years of living and being loved within the walls. With tummies full , words spoken, we took one last stroll through the House before walking out for the last time - my oldest brother took the key and locked the door behind us. As we drove away there were tears of grief - realization that this really is happening and there is no turning back.... Mom and Dad are gone and soon the House would be gone.

After a few hours of getting ready, my siblings and I headed five hours South to lay Granny to rest on Monday. We represented our parents and our own families as we said goodbye in that little church. Although we were saddened that Dad wasn't acknowledged as a 'preceded by', we paid our utmost respects, spent some time with family we may not see again for a long time and moved on.

Today we gathered around a conference table and let go of the House in final closure. Leaving the courthouse I fought the urge to go by the House one last time... fought that urge all the way out of the city limits to the point of no return. I will never go down that street again...I will never lay eyes on the House again...

Closure is what we wanted after 9 1/2 months...we have it now.
Bittersweet and final.

Love, Peace &  I Hate This Deployment and Can't Wait Until My Husband is Home!

Today at 6:00am

My cell phone rang at 6am. 

I wasn't sleeping...

My Uncle's name in the display. 

My Father's brother. 

He spoke words we knew where close.... 

expected.....

Granny died. 

Daddy's mother. 

My Granny. 

I took the task of notification. 

I called my brothers, woke my sister

....told my children..my husband. 

Tomorrow we travel 

to the lay her to rest on Monday,

in a little South Alabama 

country church 

cemetery.

This picture was taken 6 weeks before Daddy died.
Rest now Granny...I love you!

Maybe It's The Beer Talking...

Or maybe it's just that it was an eff'd up day!

Today was the day to close out my parents' estate.

"Estate"...that's a funny word to describe what my parents left behind. A house that had seen it's better days...that needs more work to bring it up to code than it's worth...and nothing of monetary value = "estate".

One thing we knew for sure is that they left this world together, without a will, essentially penniless, debt-free, and a broken down house full of memories.

Imagine our surprise when the probate attorney drops a costly bomb on us in the 11th hour that there were a couple of "issues" to resolve first. "Issues" that we had been told didn't exist even up until 2 days ago! After we re-grouped and headed out to do the work of our attorney..we were able to get some major progress made towards closure. Dumb-ass attorney! Had he done his job properly, these "issues" would have been discovered and taken care of at the very beginning, instead of at the ending when time & money are critical.

Let me just say....make sure you have a will and that you have your affairs in order at all times! Even if you THINK you don't have anything that YOU think qualifies as an "estate"...have a plan!

It was a VERY stressful day! I found myself angry....angry at Mom and Dad for dying and leaving us with this mess! Angry at the attorney for doing a half-assed job. Angry that the four of us had to move into "GO" mode and get things done at the last minute. Angry that Mom and Dad had not made a legal plan or had even written out a penciled plan on a cocktail napkin somewhere! Angry that the four of us were put in the position we are in.. to try to figure things out without a clue!

All I know after 4 beers (and a tiny buzz) is that in one week it'll hopefully be all over and  I never have to go back into "The House"...and I hope to never have to deal with a probate attorney again! I truly am not near tipsy enough to think I won't dwell on the events of this afternoon for a while!

God.... I miss my husband! Dealing with all this shit for 9 months without him had just been sad and lonely! The silver-lining is that I have found a closer love and respect for my brothers and sister than I ever knew existed before. We grew up just tending to our own and not giving any notice to each other.We've actually drawn closer together and have realized that we are the only family we have left. Our family (name & spirit) is ours to carry on...to honor.

I miss my Mom and Dad! There's not enough beer or alcohol in the universe to soften that!

Wordless Wednesday - and then Some!

Before NEW EOT (End of Tour) Date was plugged in:

After New End of Tour Date was plugged in!

Isn't that wonderful?! And in a couple of months we will have R&R - and then less than 50 days left until the END!!

Now on to the "and then some"...I haven't blogged :o( I'm not even sure why. I conjure up blogs in my head but they never make it to the Blog!

I'm thrilled that my husband (after 5.5 months) FINALLY got Internet in his office so we can Skype when he gets to work (sometimes) and before he leaves at the end of his work day. The awesomeness thing is that the picture quality is like 100% times better. Typically I see a very blurry image that represents my beloved....now I can actually see every grey hair on his head! I LOVE IT!!

My Honey Before decent Internet Service

My Honey AFTER!

Happy Wednesday!