Waking up in Loserville!

This is a "wallowing" post.

It's 8am here is sunny Northern Alabama - I've been awake since 6:40... just laying here (sitting here now). Not only do I feel like I woke up in Loserville, but I actually moped around in it all last night. My journey here started when I was leaving work yesterday. Co-worker: "Hey, what are you doing his weekend?" Me: nothing. Another co-worker and I were charging for the door at 5:00... she said : "I am so glad to be going home..." Me: "Yeah, me too". I get in my car and think to myself "what the hell am I rushing home for? there's NO ONE there. I looked at my cell phone (I'm one of those bad people that make phone calls and talk while I drive), I realize that I am friendless, childless, family-less and husband-less. I got no one to call and nothing waiting for me.

I went to Publix to wonder the aisles (Loser)...I ended up buying - no shit - 2 packs of pizza rolls (buy 1 get  free), box of chicken/cheese toquitos, bag of pita chips, hummus, peanut butter pretzels, 6 pack of beer. I sat on the front porch steps eating 6 toquitos (cooked, of course) and had 2 beers for dinner. If I keep eating like that I may need to pick up smoking again! (I won't really, but it sure sounds good). I get out the laptop and check online..half a gazillion times (FB, Blog, Email, News...) - Nothing.

Rich calls after I finally take my boring ass to bed to read a book. It's like a slice of Heaven to hear his voice and talk about mindless crap! I love him and miss him ~

A half a sleeping pill puts me out of my misery gets me to sleep only to wake up still in Loserville. Same effing place - different day. I realize that  I have NOTHING to do, NO ONE to talk to or hang out with, NO where to go and NO REASON to get out of the damn bed. This realization only intensifies the sadness and I wonder how the hell I'm going to make it through the next fucking year if this is only day 7? Deployment sucks for all of those left behind - especially those that are young and having children to care for. I've been there and done that. For someone (like me) in their mid-40's, empty-nest, without a significant friend base, no 'girl friends', waking up in an empty house and empty day, it pretty well sucks.

The wallow-show is over. That's my morning so far... it's 8:36am.

8:50am... all is not lost! I go to make coffee and my sister is walking out of her bedroom (she didn't go to work today)!!