Ugh...Fork It!

You know the feeling when you get when you finish up the laundry and there's a lone sock laying there in your laundry basket..no mate to be found ANY WHERE? Where do socks go? Do they just run off or is there some sock fairy 'out there' that has an obsession for single socks?

What about dishes? You know ..when you KNOW that you had a complete 8 piece set of dinner plates and one mysteriously comes up MIA. The lovely green Princess Goblet Glasses - there were a set of 6..why are there 4 left?

Cutlery! Forks, Spoons, Knives. What the hell happens to the cutlery?

About a month ago I reached in the 'silver ware' drawer for a spoon. None. (only the big-mouth ones - I like the small ones for eating cereal). A search in the dishwasher and bedroom/living rooms do little to uncover even one spoon that strayed. It's not like I'm living in a house with kids or teenagers to carelessly throw them away...there were 4 grown adults living there. So..I went to Walmart and spent $10 on 8 spoons. I figure with 4 of us in the house, at the time, we would be golden for a while. Spoon issue resolved.

Moving on.

Two weeks ago I went to the drawer again for a fork. No forks..only 2 were in the dish washer. W-T-F?! Where the HELL did the forks get off to? I was crazy over the disappearing forks! First Spoons and now Forks! And didn't I already replenish knives once about a year ago?! One day last week my sister was eating with a fork. She went to put it in the dishwasher and I had to ask her to wash the fork and put it back in the drawer because I hadn't eaten yet. Seriously - I'm not lying...ask her yourself!

Soooo...Saturday I made the trip (drive time about 30 minutes from the house) to Old Time Pottery to buy forks...they are cheap and you can buy them individually for about 1/2 the price of Walmart. After all, I only needed F-O-R-K-S! Rhonda and I go up and down the isle until we come to the cutlery section ~ it's filled with individual S-P-O-O-N-S and K-N-I-V-E-S ~ not one damn fork! Not! One! Fork! Who the hell would've thought there was a run on forks. It's like the cutlery Apocalypse came and all of the forks were taken! Seriously..there was a lady in the section looking for...you guessed it - FORKS! Her forks had disappeared too!

So, I huff and puff, then I resolve to buy, not one...but two 4-piece settings of forks, knives, and spoons ~ each set cost $10. I could deal with having 8 more spoons and knives than I didn't need...I'd have forks! I take my consolation prize home..the cutlery in the display window just shining brand new. This won't be bad; they are pretty!

I get home eager to unwrap my pretty new cutlery...open the box....

NO FORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Seriously?