Ugh...Fork It!

You know the feeling when you get when you finish up the laundry and there's a lone sock laying there in your laundry basket..no mate to be found ANY WHERE? Where do socks go? Do they just run off or is there some sock fairy 'out there' that has an obsession for single socks?

What about dishes? You know ..when you KNOW that you had a complete 8 piece set of dinner plates and one mysteriously comes up MIA. The lovely green Princess Goblet Glasses - there were a set of 6..why are there 4 left?

Cutlery! Forks, Spoons, Knives. What the hell happens to the cutlery?

About a month ago I reached in the 'silver ware' drawer for a spoon. None. (only the big-mouth ones - I like the small ones for eating cereal). A search in the dishwasher and bedroom/living rooms do little to uncover even one spoon that strayed. It's not like I'm living in a house with kids or teenagers to carelessly throw them away...there were 4 grown adults living there. So..I went to Walmart and spent $10 on 8 spoons. I figure with 4 of us in the house, at the time, we would be golden for a while. Spoon issue resolved.

Moving on.

Two weeks ago I went to the drawer again for a fork. No forks..only 2 were in the dish washer. W-T-F?! Where the HELL did the forks get off to? I was crazy over the disappearing forks! First Spoons and now Forks! And didn't I already replenish knives once about a year ago?! One day last week my sister was eating with a fork. She went to put it in the dishwasher and I had to ask her to wash the fork and put it back in the drawer because I hadn't eaten yet. Seriously - I'm not lying...ask her yourself!

Soooo...Saturday I made the trip (drive time about 30 minutes from the house) to Old Time Pottery to buy forks...they are cheap and you can buy them individually for about 1/2 the price of Walmart. After all, I only needed F-O-R-K-S! Rhonda and I go up and down the isle until we come to the cutlery section ~ it's filled with individual S-P-O-O-N-S and K-N-I-V-E-S ~ not one damn fork! Not! One! Fork! Who the hell would've thought there was a run on forks. It's like the cutlery Apocalypse came and all of the forks were taken! Seriously..there was a lady in the section looking for...you guessed it - FORKS! Her forks had disappeared too!

So, I huff and puff, then I resolve to buy, not one...but two 4-piece settings of forks, knives, and spoons ~ each set cost $10. I could deal with having 8 more spoons and knives than I didn't need...I'd have forks! I take my consolation prize home..the cutlery in the display window just shining brand new. This won't be bad; they are pretty!

I get home eager to unwrap my pretty new cutlery...open the box....

NO FORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Seriously?

Sunday Morning & Missing You!

From our Private Blog today:

Title: Sunday Morning & Missing You

 

"My Love,

As I sit here at the kitchen table looking out over the backyard...I wish a million wishes that you were here sitting across the table with me. We'd have our coffee in hand...maybe finishing off an amazing breakfast that you've made...and have the newspaper spread out from end to end. We would be talking about what our plans would be - we'd always say we'll wing-it...but you know we would get up, get dressed and just start driving to town (where we would stay most of the day). Or you would go down and wash & blow dry the bike while I rush around getting ready for a ride. Whatever we did...Sunday was OUR day to do it! Instead I have eaten a meager breakfast, coffee in hand and am sitting here wondering what I will do. The house is quiet except for Jake's crying - I've noticed that about him the past 2 days.

I'm missing you terribly, but I am okay today. No depression or sadness.

I Love You, Soldier Boy!

P.S. One more thing...We are almost at 100 days!"

 I've said it many times..Sunday is the loneliest day of my week. Although it signifies a new week approaching and the end of  another - it still smacks of reality that Rich isn't here and I'm alone.



When I wake up on Sunday my husband has usually pulled about 10 hours and leaves work early to do laundry (usually takes 2-3- hours). I never know when to 'expect' him to pop up online - if at all. I spend my morning sitting vigil watching and waiting... taking the laptop from room to room (to shower, to pee, to do laundry, to get the newspaper from the street..) never wanting to miss the precious few minutes we may get to spend together. Sometimes we make the connection (depending on the crappy bandwidth there), and sometimes we don't get the chance. 

Today we Skyped (after a couple of failed attempts and dropped calls) for a few minutes as he got settled in to sleep.The M&Ms are his weakness! Pvt. Joey's standing watch!

Love, Peace & Happy Sunday!

Flashback Friday!

These were taken in 2008 - Thunder Beach Bike Rally in Panama City Beach. We rode our motorcycle all the way down from Huntsville and spent 3 wonderful days!

He is so handsome!

Here we are waiting for the sun to rise! The lights behind us look like Fire - pretty cool!

I cannot wait until we can get back on the bike and take long trips to anywhere!

It's Raining!!

The rain is falling in sheets outside right this minute! (Ok..not in this picture BUT it really is raining). I am soooo glad! The heat and the dry Alabama red dirt was playing hell on my plants. They should be good for a few days after this soaking.

I love the rain! I love to smell the rain coming!

This is my son, Josh....running to the front porch (like he will melt...haha).

I wish Rich was here to listen to the rain with me...

If You Really Want to Know....

I knew going to work today that the question of the day would be, "How was your weekend/4th of July?" . I pondered that question and how I would answer it on the 20 minute drive to work and the 30 minutes prior to everyone else arriving.

7:55am - Coworker #1: "Good Morning, did you have a good weekend?"
8:03am - Coworker #2: "How was your weekend?"
8:20am - Coworker #3: "Did you have a good 4th? What did you do"?
8:34am - Coworker #4: "How was your 4th?"

Thanks for asking! Well, I spent Friday night alone and had cereal for dinner. Saturday I got up and cleaned house. Did some cooking for a Family Cookout that was attended by my Sister, daughter, (both who live with me) my Niece and the Whittens. No other family members showed up. Sunday (July 4th) I cried ALL fucking day beginning at 4:30am - literally. The sadness and loneliness just paralyzed me! I cut the grass (crying), finished some cleaning and did laundry (crying). Ate peanut butter pretzels for breakfast and lunch. Helped Kelley & Beau get their camper packed and kissed them goodbye for their journey West (crying). I cried for my husband, I cried for my parents, I cried for my daughter leaving, I cried because I was sad, lonely, empty....I pulled myself out of the empty house for an hour to go next door for leftovers, only to retreat back in and spend the rest of the day and night alone and in tears. Yesterday I cleaned the down stairs (where Kelley & Beau stayed), went to Walmart and the car wash...broke a nail ~ it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and bled (I can't get it fixed until it heals enough), and spent 75 % of the day alone  my weekend was fine.
How was yours?

I know I am in the minority here, but...I am so glad the long weekend is over!

We are 25.5% finished with this deployment!

My 4th...

I woke at 4:15am this morning ..reached out to find my husband, I was greeted by a cold, lonely and empty side of the bed. How many nights have I done that now...84? 85? His side is never uncovered - I don't sleep there, I don't migrate there. The emptiness of deployment washed over me in the wee hours of the morning - it drug me into the abyss of sadness. I reached for my cell phone and emailed my husband a message: "It's 4:25am. I miss snuggling up behind you. I love you". At 4:31am Rich wrote back: "I know my dear! I miss being there for the snuggle".

I wrestled with sleep for an hour before dozing for another hour. I finally got up and 'around' around 7:30am and set out to cut the grass. Already feeling the impact of my day without Rich, I burst into tears in my backyard when I couldn't get the riding mower to crank. I have no idea what I was doing wrong. So I push-mowed through the tears and cursing. More tears and profanity filled the quietness of the neighborhood when I couldn't crank the weed-eater. I soaked (and cried) my way through a bath. In deep sadness I felt anger rise within me. Angry that it was a another weekend alone, angry that Rich was gone, angry that there is such thing as war and deployment, angry that my parents died and left me knowing I would be alone, angry that I was crying...

I cleaned house and sat alone 85 percent of  my day - at my own choosing. My daughter and her husband set out on a month-long adventure out West this afternoon. I'd grown used to them living with me and of being strengthened by Kelley's strength - more tears, more sadness.

How much more lost can I handle? I'm not sure now.

Here it's 8:45pm and I'm in bed..typing..listening to backyard fireworks begin down the hill...I want to run down the hill and tell them to stop shooting fireworks...stop celebrating ..stop pretending you know what it took from Soldiers and Families for them to be free..what it still costs...stop...just stop.

Friday...Again

Isn't it funny how we go through the week...each day...wishing it was Friday. "Only 3 more days til Friday"..."tomorrow's Friday"..."then TGIF"! Friday means that another week is coming to a close and the weekend is here. Instead of planning a big weekend, heading to the beach, going camping somewhere, taking a motorcycle ride to anywhere, or hosting a big Richardson Cookout...I'm not doing any of those things. Deployment sure has a way of f'ing up the Summer and Long Weekends!

The Silver Lining of Friday is that one week down means one week closer to...R&R...to coming Home...to together again!

Peace, Love & Happy Friday!