Always the Bridesmaid....

Well...maybe not the Bridesmaid...but I have come to the realization that I will never be the Mother of the Bride or the Groom. They'll never be wedding planning, bridal showers, invitations to send/guest list to create, a reception to organize, a wedding or rehearsal dinner to fund or a "mother's" dress to wear as I'm escorted down the aisle. A traditional wedding for my children was not in my destiny as a Mother.

Two years ago Kelley & Beau eloped in Fresno, CA and chose not to follow-up with a reception once coming back home. At 8:45am this morning Joshua & Johanna were married in nice civil ceremony in the lobby of the local courthouse.  They are thinking about a reception and will let me know what they decide.

 It's only my selfishness and pride that makes my heart a bit sad that I will never get the chance 'do the wedding thing' for them (and for me). I've always envisioned what their weddings would be like, what I hoped they'd be like...right down to pictures. There are no wedding pictures to hang on my wall.

Through both ceremonies, I know that I have gained wonderful, loving spouses for my children. Josh & Kelley are loved, adored, and respected by Johanna and Beau - what more could I ask for? Each couple truly fit...like puzzles pieces ... and have chosen to marry in the way that they wanted.

Kelley told me last night that I didn't raise she and Josh to be traditional. It had always been me and them against the World - I raised them alone even when I floated from one failed relationship to another, working several jobs at a time and encouraged them to be their own person. They are able to think for themselves and are both so much stronger than they realize sometimes. It breaks my heart to know that I failed them in so many ways (denying them 'traditional' is only ONE way) and it bit me in the ass! :o)

In no way do I disapprove of my childrens' way of getting married - I am very proud of them! They are just as married as they would be with a full blown event! Their vows are the same promises their Grandparents took, that their Dad & I took, that one day their children will take. I am happy for them and grateful to them for giving me a wonderful daughter-in-law and son-in-law!

So....today I celebrate and welcome my daughter-in-law, Johanna to our family!