Like so many of my friends in Blogsphere, I opened up Google Reader to see what you all were saying after (what I hoped was for YOU) a fabulous weekend. Like many of you, along with me, who follow Jessica, I found myself stunned to complete silence to read her words, " If you are reading this, you should know that I am dead. At least I hope I'm dead. It would be awful to fail at your own suicide". Each word that followed gripped my heart as it started to break apart...for Jessica, for the circumstance and loneliness that led to her decision, and for ALL of us as military spouses, women, friends. I felt her sadness and the pain that brought her to the point she had arrived; I felt angry that she had been abandoned my her husband, the Army, her family; and that in that abandonment she was lost in desperation. It was a great relief to read in 'comments' that she was located and in the hospital.
About 85% of us can relate to her story in one way or another. We've all felt the abandonment of a relationship, we've felt the sorrow of broken trust, the pain of deployment separation or the aftermath of return, of not being able to (or comfortable) reaching out to our friends and family, and have been enveloped in the darkness of loneliness.
If we were being honest, many of us could admit to wanting to, contemplating, or even attempting any means to end the pain. We've experienced circumstances beyond our realm of control that are too much to continue to bear alone - and the fear and shame in reaching out to strangers when those you put your trust in turn their back on you.
Although Jessica's situation may not be exactly like our own, and we've not crossed the line to make it all go away, we've all been there and lived to tell the story. She lives to tell her story now (Thank You God)! I can only trust and pray that she is able to get the love, support and care that she needs now to help her rebuild her soul.
Blog friends, in the darkest of my days last year you all supported me and got me through some tough days and nights. Some of you knew what it was to lose a parent (or both), some of you walked the road of deployment with me. You laughed with me, I'm sure cried with me, and you became my Friends. Each of you! I may not respond to your post as often as I should or say Thank You enough for your virtual support, but I have a deep love & caring for you all!
We are all never as alone as we feel or think we are. Just as Jessica's auto post hit the blogsphere someone read it and responded immediately; know that someone is a click, a text, a phone call, and email away. Reach out! Reach out! Reach Out!
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