Friday, July 12, 2013

Project "Me"

With our Summer travel behind us and it seems like life may ease up a bit it is time to work on my new project: Project "Me". I kind of mentioned it in my last blog post that there were things I need to fix, mend (or not), and change about me and my direction in life.

For three & years I have felt adrift without a buoy or anchor. I stopped fitting in to my own life and the lives of others. The grief and changes I went through changed me - I'm not the same person and I don't know what to do with the woman I am now. I'm unfocused, unmotivated and I no longer trust people. I've become a glass half-empty girl when before I was a total 1/2 full girl. Where I used to have compassion...I lost that along the way.. I am indifferent. My attitude sucks but I'm good at faking it most of the time. I force myself to socialize only to spend the whole time wishing I was back at home where I am safe and secure; where I don't have to engage in small talk about myself about crap, with people who could care less.  I drink too much... I exercise too little and there is more of me now than there needs to be.

So, where do I begin in the project? Do I clean out the bad and then start new with what's left? Do I start working on the bad to make it good again? I need a life coach! I need a health coach! I need a fitness coach! I need a stinking plan!

This weekend I will spend some much needed time cleaning my house...then I will take some time to start cleaning everything else.

Peace

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The Dark Days

I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace