I Want a New Drug!

After 23 years on hormone replacements a doctor finally ask the question:
Doc: " Why have you been on the hormones for 23 years?"
Me: "Because no one took me off of them"
Doc: "Hormone replacements are only prescribed for 2-3 years
Me "Well, there is a 2 and a 3 in there....."

So - off the hormones I go. To prevent the emotional slide she gave me a baby-dose of Zoloft. My body started responding well to it and for the FIRST time in a long time....I felt GREAT! I was able to move past grief, depression and I was finally "Living" in my life. I was an actual part of it and I was happy.

• Mid-January I go to my Doc for my annual check-up (to include labs). My liver was a bit screwy. 
• February - retest = higher liver numbers = liver damage. Doc #2: "Stop the Zoloft" Me: "No, but I will slow my intake". 
• March - Retest = lower/still high liver numbers. Doc #2: "Stop the Zoloft, stop the Melatonin (I use for sleep), stop everything. Me: "Ugh......."
• Retest is coming up in a few weeks.

It didn't take long for me to come down from the hormone balance and Zoloft. All of the flat-lined emotions I knew would come...came. I have been very emotionally sensitive, depressed and overall....I feel like I'm in a state of confusion.

Essentially I am crazy, can't sleep, edgy, weepy and I've developed restless limb syndrome in my arms and numbness in my fingers (A Google search indicates the RLS could be brought on by stress).

I want my Zoloft back - or the hormone replacement. The risk? Liver failure or higher risk of blood clots, breast cancer and stroke.

Sounds just peachy, huh?

So ..... here I am. Not sure where HERE is.

I want a new drug!

Peace (please)