Getting it Down Pat...

Place: Walmart Hell
Time: 0745
Date: Today

So I went to Walmart Hell before work to grab a few things that I needed, because (1) I knew that hardly anyone would be there, (2) I didn't have anything better to do, and (3) I figure that waiting until after I get off work at noon would be a MAJOR mistake.
Whatever!

In my buggy was a HUGE bag of dog food (Benefil, yeah that shit is expensive!). The dogs goes through 1 HUGE bag every 2 weeks ($15.00 a bag)!

I check out..buggy not so full - but nicely plump, with the dog food taking up half the cart. The Walmart warden watches me leave the checkout line. I walk a little bit towards the door and he says,

"Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I check your receipt".

Now, had I just been walking around and bolted for the door - I could get that. But he saw me PAY for my things and leave the checkout.

Whatever!

I thought for a second to say "I opt out" but figured, what the Hell...he's doing his job and I'll play his silly game. (Rich taught me that last phrase - "I'll play your silly game")

I said, "Sure, as long as I don't have to go through the advanced pat down".

He laughed, I laughed.....

then I realize that Christmas season is coming.

It's not too far-fetched!