4:15am

I told myself last night:

"Self, you are getting your ass up in the morning and going to the gym! Yes, ma'am - no excuses..your butt is getting bigger every single day - you are going to the gym and getting back into the groove! Since your surgery you have lost your motivation..afraid of 'hurting' yourself..you've become a chickenshit about tearing something and a weeny when it hurts. You've become weak, with a size 10 waist and a size 12 butt! Your self-esteem is plummeting and your focus on good health has become hazy. Your edge has dulled! You are GETTING UP!!"

4:15am the alarm goes off. I spend a few minutes weighing my options.

Option 1: Get up, get dressed and get going!!!!

Option 2: Stay in the warm, warm bed next to my husband

I took Option #2

I'm such a Loser!