You've Got Linked(In)

I've been on LinkedIn for a while now to get networked and plugged in with other HR professionals. The other day I opened up LinkedIn and got an invitation to 'join my network" from a woman from my long ago past!

Let me digress and fill in the story.... Long ago my parents were foster parents. Countless young faces came in and out of our home, some staying longer than others and always with a horrible scar of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment. As a kid (junior high school-age), when my parents started keeping foster children, it was sometime difficult to share your parents, living space (there wasn't much), bedroom, siblings, and the only teeny tiny bathroom that we had. We were already a family of 6 (parents and 4 kids ages 12-16...then added two teenage boys (my parents adopted two foster children)...yet there was always room made for 1, 2, 3, or more. We lived in a 1200-1300 sq ft home, 3 bedrooms, one room roughly converted to a 4th, and 1 bathroom. Compassion wore thin as the tension of the walls sometimes busted at the seams.


There was this one girl. Same age as my sister and me (14). Not only did we have to share our bedroom, things and sometimes friends with her in order to make her feel "at home", we had to share our brothers and parents. While we knew the reason she was with us it just didn't soften the blow of teenage girl drama. Honestly, I don't even remember how long she was with us. Three girls in a small bedroom were just 1 too many! We did the best we could under the situation until one morning before school. She stole my hair clips and that was the last straw! There was a confrontation, a tussle that ensued and a hole in the closet door . Needless to say, she left that day and we never gave her another thought. Yes, callous, we were..but we were teenage girls.


Three days ago I received a LinkedIn invite from this girl - now woman - after 32 years! After the surprise sank in I responded to her request.  She wrote back:

"....i have thought about you all many times thru the years but apparently waited to long to thank your parents...i am very sorry for your loss of the parents....i wish i could of told them especialy your mother of the impact she had in my very young years at that time in life..."


While I found the whole foster care experience an intrusion on my life at the time, I wish that I had stopped to understand the impact it had (good or bad) on those that were there because they couldn't defend or protect themselves from someone/some ones.


We have since swapped messages and I am pleased to say that she wasn't badly scarred by her experience with me and Rhonda that last day. She went on to lead a very happy and blessed life. 


Peace