Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Agony of Saying No

There a girl. ..young woman... that I love very much. For years actually...like a daughter,  as my daughter. I watched her grow up and have witnessed the many twists and turns of her journey. Though sometimes it appeared that her path would not straighten for long, I felt confident that she could overcome her self destructive circumstances  and finally have a real life. Through the years I have helped, enabled,  prayed and distanced myself many times to allow her to stand on her own. Recently she reached out and I stood in the gap once more. Until....

Today I found that most of her circumstance were fictitious and the other half self-induced.

My phone rang for help once again. I searched my heart and my life for the right answer. My anxiety level grew, my stomach knotted and my lunch sat unsteady on my tummy. I thought of my home, my children, my grandchildren. I looked at my daily life that is peaceful and loving- drama free and relatively stress free.

I said No.

It broke my heart...but I said No.

Peace.

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The Dark Days

I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace