It Wasn't a Train

If, like me, you suffer from depression and anxiety, you get just how easy it can be to feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is a train barreling down the track to wipe you out. I definitely have felt my tracks shake at the thundering sounds and bright light heading my way. There have been times that I have hoped for a train just to end the darkness that gripped me.

When I was young adult  - early to mid 20's, I felt 'empty' and 'sad-but-not-sad' every so often; at the time I wasn't familiar with the meaning of  depression so I couldn't find the words to explain (or understand) what I was feeling. After a few days I would come out of "it" and all would be right in the world again. Circumstance, Days, Months and Years would pass before I would feel the darkness again. It always went away but it always came back - for no reason or warning.

At 49 I have finally come to admit, and not be ashamed to say, that I do suffer from depression and anxiety. The feelings grow more intense the older I get; sometimes it is difficult to believe I will come out of it one more time. But I do. I have an amazing life with a strong family and friend base...and I don't want to check out and miss a single moment of what the future holds. I think that it is important to acknowledge when I am struggling, to reach out, keep talking and keep living.

Peace