Enough to keep me going...

Rich has been gone for two week - one more to go. CPT's wife and children took the 2.5 hour road trip with me to see our guys. Mrs. CPT  is a wonderful person - the trip was so much easier with her riding shot-gun! We came out of the ladies restroom of our meeting point and there they stood. Two women, traveling with children... how did they EVER figure out we were in the ladies room?! LOL! My husband was a wonderful site for my weary eyes and and heart! We held each other and shared a zillion kisses while standing there on the edge of the shoe department. My heart was whole again for those few special moments. We all went for lunch, sharing two-weeks worth of stories, laughter and got to know each other over our meal. What a treasured time! The two families split off (though ending up at the same places) to be alone and fill our hearts with the brief family time we have.

The next 5 hours flew by in a blink. We stood in the darkening parking lot with much the same expressions of love we had hours earlier in the department store. One hug wanted to be two. One kiss wanted to be five more. It was difficult to let go but we knew that only a few more day separates us now. This time together was just enough to repair the broken heart I've had this week.

The long drive home gave me time to wonder how I will live without my husband when he goes down range. We have gone through the excitement of early marriage, then the years of hallway sex (you know - you pass each other in hallway and both say f-you), the time when there is zero communication and we struggle from breaking under the stresses of our life, the times of lengthy business travels for both of us - often feeling the relief of getting the hell out of the house and away from everything. We've survived the raising of our children with a few major family breakdowns along the way. Now, here we are 12.5 years later, our children are grown, our jobs are stable, and we've come full circle back to the newness and excitement of the love we built long ago. Rich and I complete each other in every way. As time draws closer to our long separation, I wonder how I will be able to breath without him in my space. Against better judgment I read blogs of Wives of Wounded Soldiers and Spouses of Soldiers with PTSD or TBI..... and I'm afraid. But I will breath him in every day we have and be enough to keep him strong when going down range.
 ~ Renee