With Rich gone and stuck between two homes, I have a difficult time putting my finger on where my home is now. My home was wherever my husband and children were. The kids all grew up and went their own ways and Rich...well, we know where is for the next few hundred days. Me? Where is home now? I feel the tug and pull and the hear the voice in my head telling me that I want to go home...where is that now? I live in a constant state of indifference with one foot in our primary house and the other in our future primary home. I look around this house and I see things that hold no value or meaning other than to take up the space. I long for the day when I can walk away from the 'big house' and close the door; I will open it again when Rich gets home. I don't feel him here...I feel him at the Lake. Our bed is too big...too cold...too lonely. The rooms too empty, yet too full.
Home? I want to go there. A place to call my own and not everyone's. Where Rich and I will laugh together, love a lot and grow old together. Together. I want that home...back. I want to go home.
Peace
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