Sunday, June 7, 2015

The Air Up Here...

The air up here in deploymentville is thick and full of memories. I miss him. I miss ever thing about him...his smell, his kiss, his touch, his foot when I stretch mine in the middle of the night...just to make sure he's still there. Yea, I miss that momentary touch. I miss his voice, his laugh, is face. I miss it all.

We are a mere 2 weeks down with forever to go. It's the promise of the last one...never again, that keeps me focused to get through the long days and lonely nights. A year from now this will be a blur, I know. Today it just seems so far away yet so very very real.

My life is full to the brim right no, but never full enough when he is away.

This deployment is different - I am different, than the last. I am stronger in ways that I didn't know I could be. I am confident that my decisions and plans are solid. I am not broken this time around. All of pieces have been put back together and sealed - but this time is different as I look through different eyes and a different heart. I don't fear the unknown...I've lived it. I don't fear the darkness...I faced it. I don't even fear the loneliness..for I am not alone. I just fear each day walking with him. It's not a scared fear...just an "it sure sucks" feeling.

So, onward we go.

Peace.

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The Dark Days

I still have them...just without drinking through them. Sometime I wish I could, but it's not an option if I want to live. Peace