If he had to choose....

Day 13.

My husband loves me endlessly - ten thousand times. I have no doubt whatsoever about that!! BUT...I think if he had to choose between me and Jake or me and his motorcycle... he'd no doubt would miss me terribly!

I relayed the ladder incident {see yesterday's post to keep up} to him a few minutes ago in our daily morning phone call. I no sooner got the words out of my mouth "I had a little freezer problem last night", really? what happened? well, you blocked in the ladder, between the freezer and your motorcycle and...(cut-off), did you scratch my bike? Noooo, I didn't touch your bike. But anyway, I got the ladder out (cut off), you jacked up my bike, didn't you? Nooo, I didn't jack up your bike. you sure?  Positive. So anyway (back to me), I got it out and put it back just where you had it. Did it touch my bike? Are you sure you didn't jack it up? {FOCUS, POOK} So, what I was saying....(blah, blah)...unplugged...defrosted...the whole sordid story. I'm going to do a thorough inspection of my bike when I get home (Saturday). I'm going to blog about your reaction, you know that? What blog?

Don't get me started on the dog!

I love him endlessly - ten thousand times!

It must be in the water....

Day 14. (Damn)

Note to self: The next time you put the step ladder back exactly where Pook put it (he would be so proud), tucked neatly behind his ultra bad-ass motorcycle in the garage, make sure that you don't accidentally unplug the deep freezer!

 In my defense, the step ladder was stored ever so nicely in the garage, blocked in by the deep freezer and the motorcycle. The ONLY way to get it out of its 'place' was to gently lift it over the back of the bike - making sure to NOT touch it. Now, you should know that TYPICALLY I would've just stuck it anywhere in the garage until my husband put it back where he wants it. But, he spent an entire 2 days organizing the the garage so I will be able to find whatever I wanted and needed without a panic attack while he's deployed. He even made me a tool box! I'm sure if I looked hard enough I will see a spreadsheet that will direct me to whatever I may need down there. So, the least I could do was make sure that I put the ladder back where he put it (because he had to have put lots of thought in where it needed to be store). I have no problem with that! BUT it was in a bad place! (Sorry Pook) I'm vertically challenged, I'm just grateful I didn't touch the chrome! Anywhoo-whoo....I put the ladder back, but I "guess" I put it down on the freezer cord, which inadvertently unplugged it a bit (kind of like being a little bit pregnant). That was two days ago. Fortunately, the freezer only housed frozen veggies that probably haven't seen their expiration date in years and other things (non-meat); except for on pack of chicken. It hadn't started to really smell yet. :o) I got the food thrown away, the freezer cleaned out and we are back in business. No harm done, only to my pride!

I guess you never know what won't work, until you try it on for size.

So what's in the water?? Well, I've read several blogs today that I follow, and I see common theme among us today. We are all a bit blah. Maybe it's deployment (before, during, after), maybe it's work, kids, school, or relationships, maybe it's just because it's Tuesday. There's hope... Wednesday's comin'!

Peace, Love & a big glass of Merlot!

Moody Monday...

Day 15.

It's been a weird sort of Monday; as if there's any other kind. I'm not a fan of them but I do try my best to make Monday as fun and tolerable as possible. Today was definitely the exception to my rule.

Note to Self: Don't back into the garage any more! You've done that twice in 2 days and each time you've driven off with the damn door as wide open as the Mi-ssi-ssi-humpback, humpback-i! Each time having to turn around mid-stream to go back and "check" to see IF you closed it - only to be assured of your lapse in sanity!


I had dinner with my wonderful daughter, Roo, tonight. We try and get together every other Monday between her classes. She's a talented poet (23 yrs old) in the making....you should read some of her stuff: http://kelleyrd.wordpress.com/

Roo is pretty powerful in her words..each coming from a place in her heart and life that just needed to find a release. I am so proud of her creativity and her bravery!


I talked to Pook (Rich's other name) tonight. Only 4 more days of Pre-D and then he will be HOME. Even though it will be for a short time, it'll be what my heart and soul desires most in the world right now!

There's no rhyme or reason for tonight's post, other than to know I'm still counting. Happy Monday night to you all!

Peace, Love & Jelly Beans!

Did she know?

Today my (twin) sister and I drove the all too familiar 1 hour and ten minutes to our old hometown. We unloaded baby loot at my nieces house, took her to lunch (wonderful food), and went by "The House". It sits quietly on it's little hill on a busy road. The neighborhood has changed significantly over the years as families passed away or moved on. Now the surrounding homes are filled with renters, with not much pride in their living space. So "the house", as we've always called it,sits in probate-hell and is empty but for a few furniture pieces that my brother will get. Twin2 and I sack up some things for trash collection; she breaks the silence by pointing out that she's angry - me too - but who should we be angry with? I don't know. The whole thing just seems unfair, but in our hearts we know that it was the only way it could be.

"Do you think she knew"? Twin2 asked. I was looking at pictures taken Christmas Eve, the other day; there is a beautiful picture of Mom and Dad. I've looked at her eyes a thousand times it seems, looking for any sign that 'she knew' - I couldn't read anything other than her true love and happiness just to be in that one moment with my Dad. He'd made it to celebrate Christmas, (we'd all made it), their favorite time of year. Did she know that 5 days later she would die? Did she know that Dad would fade as soon as he knew and follow her in death 2 days later? We will never have those answers in this life - but the questions still linger.
Twin2 and I went to the cemetery to leave flowers for Easter. YES, we took a step ladder this time. (For those of you who may not know the significance of that, you'll need to pop down a few posts and read the "30 days... the countdown begins"). So Twin2 gets on the ladder to reach the flower vase and pulls it out of the holder. Unknowingly, it is full of rain water and she dumps it all over her head!!  I laughed so hard I thought I'd pee my pants! There she is, soaking wet and the solemn moment is broken. After we get in the car she said to me... I guess that's their way of telling me to lighten up! I think it was a message for both of us.

It's Day 16. Rich will be home next weekend for a little more than a week before MOB. Sometimes I wonder why I count that down... I'll only start counting again. Should I could the days of deployment in chronological order or reverse?

 I'm not sad but I sure wish Krispy Kreme delivered!  :o)

Nothin' like a shower!

Day 17.

Showers are WONDERFUL! The water kind and the kind that celebrate the start of a new life entering this World. Today my sister and I hosted a co-ed Baby Shower for my beautiful niece and her handsome guy as we all celebrate the upcoming birth of baby Charlotte! Now, anyone that knows me can attest that I am a worrier and figgiter (I KNOW it's not a word, but neither is TUMP, and I use that a lot!)... stay with me here....I panic over the details, the food, the presentation, the party environment.. making sure that everything flows, looks great, and is (most importantly) comfortable! By 10:00am this morning I was having chest pains (the shower started at noon at my house). I turned to my R.N. sister and said.. my chest doesn't feel good. I'm having severe chest pains..they come and go and hurt - A LOT. She rolled her eyes and told me I was fine, stop stressing and I was just feeling anxiety pains. Half a happy-pill and a hot shower later, my chest pains ceased and the party was in full swing by 12:05pm. The spread ... casual cookout-style) was awesome (not your typical church-lady group baby shower food), the games weren't lame, the house looked great, and my niece and her guy got great baby things!  Yeah!!

Oh, word to the wise - I did a cute little arrangement on a tiered dish of cotton candy! Looked wonderful for about 30 minutes. Then the sugar started 'melting' and it lost it's allure.  Still cute as a colored blob, though!

Missing my Soldier! He would've loved this day! Pook, if you're reading this, your gift brought lots of ooohhhs and ahhhhs.  See you in 1 week!!

Happy Saturday night!

Note To Self....

Day 18.

Note to Self: The next time you show up for lunch with a friend you haven't seen in over a year... please make sure you've brought your wallet!

(Oh, no you didn't?!?!)

I did!!  I had taken out my wallet at work to get a stamp ...laid it on my desk instead of putting it back in my purse. Lunch time rolls around, I arrive at Nukes for lunch... hug, hug...you look great... so do you...{reach in my purse for my wallet} Oh hell - it's laying every so peacefully on my desk!!! Uh... friend... can we run back to my office and let me grab my wallet?! My friend bought our lunch (Nukes makes THE BEST Pesto Chicken sandwich) and we went on to shove a year's worth of life in 45 minutes! With 2009 being an absolute blurr for me there was a great deal to chat about. The next lunch is on me.      :o)

Oh, speaking of stamps.... I was online on the US Postal Service website today. Boring, huh? But anywoo... DID YOU KNOW that you can buy customized stamps? Yep - just upload a picture and they will slap it on a stamp! Pricey ~ about double to cost ($18'ish for a sheet of 20) ~ but will sooo be worth it when I write to Rich when he is on his all expense-paid trip to the sandbox! Shhh... don't tell Rich - I want him to be surprised when his first mail call comes!

Happy Friday!!

"I hear the train a comin', its rolling round the bend...."

Day 20.

There's a train-wreck coming and I can only watch the collision happen. Powerlessly... helplessly.

Someone I love is on a path of self-destruction. The lines between right & wrong, good & bad, life & death have blurred and all reason is gone. This person has been saddled with a crap-load of responsibility that no one their age should have right now; and that the only way to make sense of it all is to make choices that make no sense at all. Rich and I have been on this track before, similar train, same conductor ~ the rail changed before impact. This time... the train is moving faster and on extreme terrain.

Rich is not home right now - focusing on pre-D training - but we had to talk about it. I hated to bring it up at 1:30am this morning when we Skyped. (I couldn't sleep and he had just finished for the day) - but it had to be discussed. Fortunately (or unfortunately), what I didn't know is that Rich already knew about the situation and had a couple of days on me to begin processing the information. In a few weeks Rich will be gone and I know that at some point the train will jump the track.. derail...this train ride is bigger than me - it's bigger that us. It's a heavy load for Rich to take with him down range ~ it's a heavy load to carry here at home without him.  Then again, if he was here, all we could do is watch from the platform together.