Did she know?

Today my (twin) sister and I drove the all too familiar 1 hour and ten minutes to our old hometown. We unloaded baby loot at my nieces house, took her to lunch (wonderful food), and went by "The House". It sits quietly on it's little hill on a busy road. The neighborhood has changed significantly over the years as families passed away or moved on. Now the surrounding homes are filled with renters, with not much pride in their living space. So "the house", as we've always called it,sits in probate-hell and is empty but for a few furniture pieces that my brother will get. Twin2 and I sack up some things for trash collection; she breaks the silence by pointing out that she's angry - me too - but who should we be angry with? I don't know. The whole thing just seems unfair, but in our hearts we know that it was the only way it could be.

"Do you think she knew"? Twin2 asked. I was looking at pictures taken Christmas Eve, the other day; there is a beautiful picture of Mom and Dad. I've looked at her eyes a thousand times it seems, looking for any sign that 'she knew' - I couldn't read anything other than her true love and happiness just to be in that one moment with my Dad. He'd made it to celebrate Christmas, (we'd all made it), their favorite time of year. Did she know that 5 days later she would die? Did she know that Dad would fade as soon as he knew and follow her in death 2 days later? We will never have those answers in this life - but the questions still linger.
Twin2 and I went to the cemetery to leave flowers for Easter. YES, we took a step ladder this time. (For those of you who may not know the significance of that, you'll need to pop down a few posts and read the "30 days... the countdown begins"). So Twin2 gets on the ladder to reach the flower vase and pulls it out of the holder. Unknowingly, it is full of rain water and she dumps it all over her head!!  I laughed so hard I thought I'd pee my pants! There she is, soaking wet and the solemn moment is broken. After we get in the car she said to me... I guess that's their way of telling me to lighten up! I think it was a message for both of us.

It's Day 16. Rich will be home next weekend for a little more than a week before MOB. Sometimes I wonder why I count that down... I'll only start counting again. Should I could the days of deployment in chronological order or reverse?

 I'm not sad but I sure wish Krispy Kreme delivered!  :o)