One Year Ago - Part Two...

We were shocked beyond belief when Mama died. When 'they' came to take her away, we took Daddy back to his hospital room where we sat vigil for a little while as he slept. I can't even remember who stayed with him that night - but he wasn't alone; he was never alone.

The next day Daddy stayed in a realm of consciousness that we couldn't reach anymore. He would respond if spoken to but he wouldn't open his eyes...and he slept. New Year's Eve took him to a different level of living and dying... and we knew his time would be close. The doctors had told us that we would have weeks with him ... except he began his passage to be with Mother while grieving in the ER. Watching him withdraw into his own mind and existence, we all knew that the strength and will of our Dad died with our Mom.

In the evening on NYE - on year ago today - 56 hours after Mom died - Daddy called my Mother's name and drew his last breath. They were married for 50 years and 6 months.

It was over.

There's a Tear in My Wine!

Yesterday started on a high emotion, Rich and I stayed busy ALL DAY! When evening rolled around we walked the vast span across the driveway, to The Whitten's house next door. We took our positions around their kitchen island and downloaded our day over a few glasses of wine. Ok...let's just be honest here - I think it was 3 bottles!

We cried, talked and hugged through the anniversary of my parents deaths - the sadness of it all and the ironic twist of fate that occurred last December. At one point Leigh Ann says something like..."At least they are together", to which I said, "I don't give damn, they are still not here"!  Yes...I'm really working on that bitter part!

I look over at her and she's crying...hard. Me: "Why are you crying?" Through her 'I've had too much wine and not enough food' stupor..she said "I wish I had parents like yours". That was hands down the most sweetest thing I have heard!

At this point Leigh Ann's little eyes have swollen from crying and I start to laugh. It was just hysterical watching her put ice cubes on her eyes! I warned her that I would blog about it with pictures!

We laughed. I needed that! We all needed that!

After a few moments on this subject we moved on to something else.

That's just how we roll.

I tried to think of something whitty and funny to put in the blog post, but I honestly couldn't. The day ended just the way I needed it to end.

I love our Best Friends!

One Year Ago..

Last night was sleepless.

My mind replayed this day - a year ago ...a year ago this morning.

Again and again I relived the horror.

I left my Father's room and was led by a nurse through a back elevator to the ER. I was placed in a little family room. I waited. My aunt arrived, then my brother. We waited. Just like December 29, 2010,  I heard the doctor say "I'm sorry, we couldn't save her".... again and again. I hear myself tell him (again) "I'm sorry, you've made a mistake, we're with the Martha Blocker family"... then he again said the same words he spoke a year ago, "Yes, I know. I'm sorry....." He continued to talk...I couldn't hear him anymore...he just kept chattering as I looked at my brother, at my aunt, and the the horror hit. She was gone. Our Mother was gone. I turn to the doctor and tell him to 'just stop...stop talking...I can't hear you anymore.' He stops.. he quietly leaves us in that little room. It wasn't supposed to happen this way - Dad was going to die soon.... in less than a week we be orphans.

Throughout the night I relived the pain of making phone calls...of confirming to my brother and sister..of holding the kids as they arrived and grieved.... of watching my father's broken mind hit the level of comprehension as he holds her and begs God not to take her.

The 'what if's' plagued my thoughts. The scenes played all night like a movie.

This morning I feel tired...sad...empty...longing.

R&R and Christmas Eve....

It's the morning of Christmas Eve. My husband is rummaging around the kitchen to heat up a bagel. A few minutes ago we were standing in front of the fireplace, each with a bowl of cereal. I lite the Christmas tree and we shared a kiss.

Me: I'm so glad that you are home for Christmas

Him: Me too!

So....how's R&R going so far?

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

My husband got home on Saturday after 8 1/2 months in the Sand Box. He and 3 members of his team (there are only four in the team - the 4th Soldier took R&R earlier), flew into to Atlanta at 9am to find their flight home would be 12 hours later. Being that the flight itself would only be a 45 minute flight, they decided to rent a car and make the four hour drive home. After dropping the other Soldiers off to their waiting families, my husband drove the remaining hour to our airport to drop off the car. I waited and watched each car that came though he parking deck...finally spotting my Honey...took off in a dead sprint into his arms!! Nope...no shame in my game!
We arrived home to waiting friends and family..

Jake wasn't sure what was going on at first..he was so confused or in disbelieve like the rest of us. Then it hit him and has been glued to Rich ever since. He's one happy dog!

After a few days of sleeping and getting in the Home groove, we went to Nashvegas (Nashville) with our best friends, Brian and Leigh Ann.

 Oh, the AWESOME boots....my Christmas present from Rich!

I'm loving R&R and having my husband home.

There are so many of you out there in Blogland that are not spending this Holiday with your spouses. My heart goes out to each one of you and your Soldiers. I wish you all a Merry Christmas wherever you are.

Ahh....Completeness - I've Missed You!

Flashback Friday

Flashback to April 13, 2010! The day my Honey left for the Sand Box!

The NEXT picture I post will be of us together again!!!

Can I get a big "Hell Yea!!"

Waiting For the First Step...

Today was the day ... Wednesday in the Sand Box...my husband would hopefully be catching a flight to turn in his leave papers, make his travel arrangements and begin his way home for R&R. Do you KNOW how exciting that is to know that the journey was beginning?? After 8 1/2 months my husband would be coming home..to me...to us...to home!

Until...

I get to the gym at 0445 (roughly 1530 for him) and (for the first time) carry my cell phone in with me. I text him and pray that he does not answer. To answer would mean that he is still at work and not on a flight.

 Me (0501): "Still @ work? I hope not! I love you!

 I wait. And walk to the restroom to pee before I start working out.

 Him (0503): "Yep"

 Me (0504): "Noooooo...you are supposed to be getting on a plane! what happened?

Him: (0512) "Bumped! I sent you a note on email".

At 0508 my cell phone rings and it's my husband. He's been bumped until tomorrow afternoon; guaranteed on that flight out.I started crying...sitting on the toilet...at the gym. I just started crying!

Him: "Honey, I didn't mean to break your heart. It's okay. I'll be out of here tomorrow afternoon."

Me: "After all of this time, I was just hoping you were on your way through the first step home".

Him: "Soon, Babe...soon"

The Last of the First..

In 2010 we went through our first Easter, first Birthdays, first Anniversaries, first births, first weddings, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving...now Christmas is coming ...the first without my parents. So many 'firsts' without them. After Christmas we will never be able to look back and say, "last year we did this or did that" with Mother and Daddy.

Christmas Eve last year was the last Christmas we would spend with my Mom and Dad. We gathered in my Dad's hospital room (in respite care). Daddy was the only person that didn't know that he was going to die.  So we gathered in true family fashion, gifts in hand. Mom and Dad both decked in red, Daddy with the traditional red Santa hat. Only this time, he couldn't read the names on the gifts well, so I told him each name and he called it out, giving each of us a gift. We all relished in the moment of family togetherness..our last as a whole family. We just didn't realize how broken we would become in the following days. Five days later my Mother died unexpectedly (12/29)..two days after that, my Father (12/31). We buried them together on Jan.3rd. We became instant orphans...no longer any one's children.

Maybe it's the time of year...the specialness that Christmas brought in the past... maybe it's the events of those last few days and weeks - hell, even the year - but I am unable to sleep ~ to stop the thoughts, conversations, what-if's, that haunt my mind when I try to sleep at night. I pray to God each night to quieten my mind  - I don't want to remember Dec. 29th....I don't want to think about New Years Eve...it's painful beyond words and it's still wrong on so many levels.

The last Christmas...

Motivation & Getting Hosed!

So...Since getting back to 'myself' after the first nine months of the year I began to workout at a gym close to home. At first I hated the thought of getting up at 0430 to be at the gym by 0500. (If I didn't go before work..I sure as hell wouldn't do it after). Some mornings I would lie in bed and come up with a gazillion reasons why I didn't want to or shouldn't go. (ex., My muscles hurt, I was too out of shape, I should go to work early, what if I looked stupid, I didn't know what I was doing). To be honest, a few mornings I did lose the battle, but most of them I remembered that those excuses got me where I was in the first place...so I forced myself up and out the door four mornings a week. There's a motivational sign in the gym that I see every morning that I go (now 5 mornings), "When your body begins to scream, tell it to shut up"! I like that sign and tell that to myself on the days I feel too sore to get up.

I even enrolled in a Total Fitness Program that consisted of a healthy eating program, fitness, and motivation. When I started out back mid-Sept I was 18 pounds heavier than I am right now and 22.5 inches larger. I was pushing a size 14 for comfort and am now proud of the 10/11 that I am now.

Aug/Sept


















Me Today















I'm no longer self-conscious about going to the gym around other people..I realized that they were there for the same reason I was and what the hell did I care what others thought of me. It was what I thought of me that mattered most! I think I'm actually more excited by the inner changes in me than I am about the outer changes (which I cannot wait for my husband to see - I hope he'll be proud of me too). My body and mind are conditioned to wake up at 0430 for the gym now which makes it a pain in the ass to sleep in on the days I don't go to the gym and WANT to sleep in. It's also going to be a bitch with my husband comes home for R&R! But, I started this for a reason and I'm going all the way!

So the 'hosing' story is this: Today I wore the blue outfit above...with pantyhose. Fine and dandy, right? regardless of a few pounds and inches lost it's hard to convince the brain that you are not the same size..at least my brain anyway. I bought the same size hose that I'd been buying for a LONG time, not taking into account the areas I'd lost inches like my waist and hips. Most of today I felt my hose slipping down my hips and was constantly having to discreetly tug them back up to my waistline.

After work I was walking down the hallway to leave. I have a box in my left arm, my work tote and purse on my right shoulder and arm, my daughter calls me - so now I am holding my cell phone in my right hand....walking...when I feel my pantyhose slipping...and slipping...and slipping..down my hips..just about off my butt. There is no where to stop and get things under control. I start laughing at the thought that any minute my hose are going to slid down my legs in the middle of the hallway! I make it to a work table near some copier station and drop everything I'm toting to yank my pantyhose back up! Needless to say, I'll be trashing these hose as soon as I change clothes in a bit!

That's my motivation and hose story!
Peace Out!

Day 242

My husband has been gone 242 day.

It was a cool, crisp morning that April 10th when we smiled for a 'one last' photo together, one more hug and kiss...then he was gone. In those first few days I couldn't imagine getting through the day or 4,5, 20, 100...much less day 242. But, here I am ~ here we are. It's been a difficult 242 days without him for more reasons than just the loneliness of being separated; maybe it made the deployment more painful...I don't know.

R&R is coming soon (less than 2 weeks now) and I could not be more excited! I also couldn't be more nervous and anxious! I want his time home to be perfect, stress-free, drama-free, and without an agenda to follow.

I look forward to lying beside him again at night...just listening to his heartbeat and the sound of him sleeping. I can't wait to wake up and see him there with me (Jake probably between us) for 15 days! I'll pretend to be perturbed but we all know I won't be. I love forward to making love to my husband again (sorry Jake..you gotta go), to making him coffee, to watching him piddle around the house, to just having him in my space!

Soon!
We are waiting!!!!

It's His Day...

Today is my Daddy's 70th Birthday. It would've been...it should've been...it still is. Yet, he stopped aging when he died last New Years Eve. In my heart,though, he's is 70 now - not 69. Last year we held on prayer and hope that he would live to 69 and outlive 5 generations of Blocker men who lost their lives to Heart disease. He made it, only to die a few weeks later (2 days after my Mother).

William Johnnie Blocker was born December 5, 1940 in Geneva, AL. He was the oldest of three children and the self-proclaimed protector of everyone and everything. My daddy loved us with such a deep fierceness and, underneath his gruff and strict persona, was never embarrassed or ashamed to tell/show us that he loved us.

Daddy wore a red cowboy hat...always. He loved Butter-Pecan ice cream, his childhood nickname was Jigs, he was called Johnny throughout his life, he loved his trip to Disney World, was glued to his TV when he was home off the road, and enjoyed feeding the squirrels in the back yard when he retired.

He had a deep love for his brother, my Mother, and the four of us kids. (I'm not slighting his love for all of his family - he loved just about everyone). Dad wasn't a particular tall guy (5'8'ish maybe) but his personality was his strength. He was loud, sometimes could be obnoxious, loved to laugh, overload your email with junk emails (Oh, my...could he ever), he was bull-headed, and the along with my Mother - was the life of every family gathering near or far.

My heart is broken today wanting him back. I miss him so much.

A Step in Time...

When I married my husband 13 1/2 years ago,  I did not gain a step-son....I gained a Son. When my husband pledged his love to me, he did not gain a step-daughter and a step-son....he accepted another Son and a Daughter. Neither my husband and I became "step"-parents...we became full-time parents to 3 wonderful, amazing and sometimes challenging kids - who are now wonderful, amazing and sometimes challenging adults.

When my husband and I exchanged golden wedding bands, we gave our children gold wedding bands to symbolize the circle of our family bond and that, although they had other family bonds and relationships with their other respective Mother/Father, we were all one family from that moment on. There were no 'steps' and we never referred to our family or children in a 'step' way.

To be called, labeled, or referred to as a 'Step" or any other names/words intended to break down the unity of our family, by others - is degrading, hurtful, and disrespectful.

To hell with anyone who thinks differently!

Wordless Wednesday!

No Kidding....

I told my husband today that I don't want any more kids! He completely agreed!! It's laughable for us to say that...something we've always brought up when any one or two, or three, or four, of our kids have exhausted our emotions. We always said God knew what he was doing when he took away our reproductive ability!

Parenting is scary business. Only the strong survive! The benefits definitely out weigh the bad times and the blessings cannot be measured!

However, Kids can be totally draining sometimes! It doesn't matter how old they get. They love you and they hate you. They will disappoint you and make you proud. Kids have a way of making you mad as hell and giving you the best moments to make up for the bad times. They bicker, fuss and cuss at each other...but they should know that in the end they have each other to lean on in the tough times. Kids will bring hurt and devastation to their parents...sometimes on purpose..sometimes unintentional. You can't control them or consume them once they leave the teenage years. Regardless of how much you try to hang on - they eventually have to fly. They will stumble, they will fall, sometimes they will lay on the ground and watch the clouds roll by until they are ready to get up again. It's in their time - not yours. Kids will make choices that would not have been your own; that's why the choices are theirs and not mine yours. They will follow their hearts across the lands in search of self, love and adventure. Often times finding their way home, other times not. They will break your heart a million times with words, alienation and actions...but to see them and hold them for a few seconds can put your World back on its axis.

As Parents, we hold on to the memories of the 'good' times to get us through the bad. We try to bite our tongues and remain neutral in conflict. We cry over some of their choices but we are thankful that they have the self-conviction to make a choice...any choice. We run in high gear when they cause havoc among the masses but are glad we raised strong individuals who can stand up for themselves. We love them enough to let them go...to support them in their quest to find their own way, their own happiness, their own motivation. Sometimes we fail...sometimes we are right on target.

When the dust settles after the storms or the parade has finished and the music has stopped ~ what is left standing is a Mom and a Dad; we may be tired, haggard and bloody....but we stand together in solidarity.  We stand together holding the family flag to remind the kids the family is still intact and  we hold up a light to illuminate their way back home from wherever they may roam.

To our Children: You are loved beyond all measure regardless of whose blood runs through your veins. Find your happiness...your place in this World. Don't settle for what you have but always seek out your next adventure. Love and let yourself be loved - you are all worthy! Forgive and allow yourself to be forgiven. Be the friend to others that you would want in return. Don't let others dictate your direction, follow your own map but go off course from time to time. Remember where Home is and that Dad & I will always welcome you there.

Getting it Down Pat...

Place: Walmart Hell
Time: 0745
Date: Today

So I went to Walmart Hell before work to grab a few things that I needed, because (1) I knew that hardly anyone would be there, (2) I didn't have anything better to do, and (3) I figure that waiting until after I get off work at noon would be a MAJOR mistake.
Whatever!

In my buggy was a HUGE bag of dog food (Benefil, yeah that shit is expensive!). The dogs goes through 1 HUGE bag every 2 weeks ($15.00 a bag)!

I check out..buggy not so full - but nicely plump, with the dog food taking up half the cart. The Walmart warden watches me leave the checkout line. I walk a little bit towards the door and he says,

"Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I check your receipt".

Now, had I just been walking around and bolted for the door - I could get that. But he saw me PAY for my things and leave the checkout.

Whatever!

I thought for a second to say "I opt out" but figured, what the Hell...he's doing his job and I'll play his silly game. (Rich taught me that last phrase - "I'll play your silly game")

I said, "Sure, as long as I don't have to go through the advanced pat down".

He laughed, I laughed.....

then I realize that Christmas season is coming.

It's not too far-fetched!

Testy, Testy, 1,2,3...

I can feel myself getting 'testy'.

A LOT LATELY!

 I'm sleeping worse than usual...my mind is in a little overdrive about Thanksgiving (cooking, cleaning, being the first without Rich, the first without my parents)...the anxiety of the Holiday season clinches my chest.....People who fake sincerity get on my absolute last fucking nerve because they actually think I people buy it....I tend to cringe at hearing the voices of a few people at work ~ makes my head hurt and my nerves unravel (not the tone of their voices but the crap that comes out)....I'm sick of 'healthy eating' and the pounds not moving as much as the inches...it's exhausting to just humor people that have broken a bond and trust and act like everything is just fine when it really isn't and may not ever be again, but I'll play their game.....I hate the thought of getting in traffic - the people, the stupidity, the crowds (NO, I'm not doing Black Friday).... and I tend to feel myself losing patience with people who can't make a reasonable decision if their lives depended on it.

My tolerance level is getting lower by the minute!
Yep, testy, bitchy, down right frustrated.

One Cupcake Too Many...

My name is Renee and I love Wine! Does that make me a wino? Hmmm... maybe, but who the hell cares?! I like to consider myself well-rounded in the art of drinking wine. I'm actually a red-wine snob...love it...had to work up to that point all the way up from a blush zinfandel wine. One of my FAVORITE wines is from the Cupcake Vineyards . Not that I discriminate; I am not that picky ~ as long as it's red or a dry white!


After work I grabbed my laptop and headed next door to the Whittens for our ritual Friday Night Winery. We enjoyed some Bogel Wine with pretzels before moving onto Cupcake Wine (Cabernet) and left over, warmed up pizza. Rich Skyped in and we got to talk for a while - almost like old times (us and the Whittens on Friday night...having a bottle glass of wine or two (or three) and running down our week. (I sure love and miss him...so much more than anyone really knows or understands).

Now I'm, home - a tad-bit tipsy and it's only 9:39pm (2139). Here at home it's quiet. I can hear the hum of the refrigerator and nothing else. Even the dogs are knocked out - Annie with her head hanging off the couch - Jake's probably sprawled on my bed.

In the silence I realize just how much I am over this deployment. There are so many young milspouses out there that are proud to be going through deployments because it makes them feel empowered &  are stronger.. I'm sure they are. I was strong before the deployment and still strong - life and death have a way of molding you to strength you ever thought existed. But, I've been where they are in some form or fashion - when the new wears off and you are raising your kids alone with too many bills and not enough money...it's not so much fun anymore. There nothing wrong with it..again, I've been there, lived it, wear the scars.  Really. Now...Fast forward 20 -25 years.

As for me, I am over this deployment! Call it having one Cupcake too many - I could care less...but I'm over it! Rich and I have raised our kids, we've been through the lean, lean years, we've done the whole 'focus on the career' thing, we've got our college educations, we've 'been there and done that' in more ways that anyone could think existed.....but at this very moment - I am ready to have deployment over and done - to have my boring middle-aged life back. There is NO Shame in my game! To have Rich home and enjoying the life of empty-nesters now that ALL of our children are out in the World in their own lives...to just be 'me & Rich'...WOW! In time (God willing) deployment will be over and my husband will be home.....I know this ( believe it to be true). Right this minute, though~ I hate the silence and the emptiness. Thank goodness for Cupcakes!

Oh, there's absolutely no rhyme or reason for this post - other than I've got a buzz and it's my blog!

Wordless Wednesday!

Jake: "Daddy, come home soon"

You've Got Mail....

Okay - I got mail!

Several Weeks ago I participated in a Postcard Swap hosted by Jessica at Jesstagirl and her officer. My name was thrown in the hat and I am EXCITED to share the Postcard I received from Kaylee over at Devil Dog Darling!

Isn't is just AWESOME?! Who does not like Yogi Bear and Boo Boo, too? After a long day at work, my butt was dragging, my spirits were running low...THEN this little card picked me up, dusted me off, and gave me a REAL DEAL Smile!

Thanks Kaylee for the perfect postcard and the perfect words!

Both Jessica & Kaylee have Fantastic blogs.... go take a look and stalk follow them like me! Go on, be a copy cat, just this once!

A Defining Moment..

Saturday afternoon my niece got married. I got to see her before the wedding in her 'waiting' room - she was just beautiful standing there in her white gown. I asked her where her 'something old, something new, something borrowed..' was. She proudly showed me a gorgeous jewelry set that my brother (her father) gave her. She had the 'blue'. I asked for a piece of ribbon and a safety pin. As she stood there in front of me, I slipped off my Mother's wedding band, tied a ribbon around it, and pinned in to the inside of her dress. That ring symbolized 50 years of marriage: through richer and poorer, sickness and in health, until death. It was fitting that my Niece take Mom's ring with her as she pledges the promises that my Mom promised my Dad and lived by until her last breath.

The tears flowed from the waiting room all the way through the ceremony. It was a bittersweet occasion. The celebration of marriage was touched by sadness as the absence of our Mom & Dad/Grandparents, was felt by all of my family members. Some of us cried to see the 'chairs' with Dad's hat and magnolia's (Mom's favorite), we laughed when we realized Niece was chewing gum during her wedding, we sat in astonishment when we thought the Groom was going to pass out (we really did!) but he recovered, then we all cried when the groom became so overwhelmed with love for my Niece that he barely got his vows out amid tears, then we all cried again through the family pictures.

It was a beautiful event and one of many such events where we will be blatantly aware that Mom & Dad are gone. We have the holiday's coming up (our first without them) and then the mark of their deaths. Lord help us as we try and get through this time of year! I may have to throw some Xanax in the Thanksgiving dressing!!

I do know that I am closer to my family than I've ever been in my life - I am so grateful for this! It took our parents dying to draw us closer together and unified. We are the living legacies of an amazing marriage. We are our parents' children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. We will carry them with us always. We are the Blockers!

Love, Peace & Hold on tight to your loved ones! Cherish each and every second!

Footnote Friday

In Review: It's Friday once again. Where did the week go? I can't remember the days anymore and how I used them, so I am sitting here trying to 'footnote' my week. I know I went to the gym Monday and Tuesday before work and that I got to talk to Rich at least once each day. The rest of the hours in those days are a 100% total blank. I must've done something worth recalling...but zip - nothing comes to mind. Why can't I remember those days? Wednesday I went back to boot camp class, which wasn't as bad as the first class but was equally as challenging. Thursday was Veteran's Day and I took myself down to the local parade. This was a first for me - my daughter met me there and together we waved our flags and cried a little.

My moment of the week: Today I finally dropped of my Mom & Dad's clothing at a donation center before work. It's only taken 11 months to sort them and bag them up and a week of driving around with them to finally have the courage to drop them off. The collection guy wanted me to wait for a receipt, but I told him it was too hard to give them up and I needed to just go right then before I changed my mind. I cried as I drove away leaving the clothes behind. Oh, how I wanted to go back and get them, to open those bags and consume myself in Mom's shirts, her nightgowns, her 40th anniversary wedding gown that she wore 11 years ago, Daddy's blue suit, his shirts, his black and white flannel jacket...to consume myself with them. I miss them so much.

My gripe of the week is with ToysRus! Specifically their online ordering and shipping. I'm trying to close up as much Christmas shopping as possible so when R&R rolls around, I will not have to take one minute away from my husband to run around and shop. So, we also have a son in Cali (DIL and grandson); I went online to ToysRus and bought the grandson (age 2.5) his Christmas gifts - they were rather large items - and had them shipped to Cali; my DIL would store them until Christmas morning. Perfect...I beat the holiday mailing frenzy and ticked one more name off my list! Or so I thought. Just so you know....Tuesday rolls around and good ol' UPS makes the first delivery..ring the door bell, drop off and leave. Not much of a biggie - but the DIL opens the door with 2.5 in tow..low and behold - there's Christmas gift #1 on the porch NOT IN A BROWN (Discrete) BOX! Seriously, ToysRus shipping pulled the box off the shelf, slapped a mailing label on it and sent it on it's way. 2.5 year old sees the box (and gift) and starts screaming for it (because that's what he does - he's 2.5). DIL gets it put away, 2.5 continues to scream still..and I am livid because (1) it was a Christmas gift, (2) I'm still not sure that DIL has the strong will NOT to give it to him because he wants it, and (3) it spoiled the surprise! So..Package #2 was scheduled to arrive TODAY..so DIL had planned on how to handle it when UPS showed up so 2.5 yr old will not see it. WELL...didn't happen that way. UPS showed up late yesterday afternoon..again..door bell, drop, leave. Not expecting the package, DIL and 2.5 yr old in tow open the door and ...YEP - gift..unboxed. 2.5 yr old starts screaming again. So..will DIL give 2.5 yr old the gifts before Christmas? I don't know ~ I hope not...but then again I live on the other side of the US..so how would I know?.... I called ToysRus shipping and complained - they should be more aware that it's the holiday season and people are going to be shipping Christmas gifts for kids every where. And it sucks to have the surprise spoiled! Not that they REALLY gave a shit..but I gave my thoughts just the same.

My sorrow of the week:  My son and his wife miscarried their baby. We are saddened at the loss.. (I would have been an awesome grandmother)! Their time will come again!

My 'happy" for the week: I lost another pound!

Peace, Love & Happy Friday!

I Honor You!

I honor YOU
Our Veterans
Past
Present
Future
Fallen
Your Service
Your Sacrifice
Your Duty
Your Honor
YOU!
Thank You!
Thank You!
For doing what I
can't do
For doing what others
can't do
won't do
For carrying on your mission
in Honor of your Family and
Your fallen friends
For my freedom
My childrens' freedom
My grandchildrens' freedom
I honor YOU
All ranks
All branches
Today
Tomorrow
Every day
Thank You!
Thank You!

 

Peace, Love, & Honoring Our Military Daily!

For You..You Know Who You Are!

The Man in the Flood

Doug Allan Dammeier
Level: Platinum

CoachDoug lives in the mountains of western Washington state and is an award-winning writer, Internet marketer, and self-discovery life coach. His newsletter "Change Your Life ...

Perhaps you've heard the story of the man caught in a flood who had a deep faith in God. As the flood waters rose, his neighbors told him, "You have to leave, the flood is going to wash everything away."

Calmly, the man replied, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

As the waters continued to rise to the second floor of the man's house, a boat came by with rescuers. They said, "Quickly, get in, the flood is going to wash everything away."

Again the man replied, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

As the flood worsened, the man was forced to climb onto the roof of his home. A helicopter came, threw down a ladder and the rescuers said, "Climb up. The flood is about to wash everything away."

One more time, the man said, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

Finally, the flood washed everything away, and the man drowned.

When he reached heaven, he saw God. The first thing he asked was, "Lord, I was so certain you would save me, what happened?"

Very perplexed, God said to the man, "I just don't know, I sent neighbors, a boat and a helicopter to save you."

'Are you working on gaining the awareness to consciously 'see' the hidden opportunities that are in your life at this very moment? Or are you 'playing it safe' and doing the same things you have always done in life and getting the same results you've always gotten?

Will you be like the man in the flood who simply could not 'see' the life-changing opportunities in front of him, or are you ready to begin looking with 'a new set of eyes' at your life and uncover the many opportunities that are swirling all around you at this very moment?'

By Doug Allan Dammeier
  

 

Where'd the years go?

Today

She is 24!

My daughter is 24!

Where'd the years go?

Love, Peave & Happy Birthday Kelley!!

I love you to the moon and back a bazillion times!

Boot Camp - Day 1

7 weeks ago I took over my health and fitness and committed to a Total Fitness program at the gym. I decided I was no longer willing to keep gaining weight and I wanted to take control once and for all. Plus, I wanted to look hot for my Honey by R&R).

I workout for an hour 4-days a week and have made dramatic dietary changes. So far I have dropped 14 pounds and I'm not sure how many inches. Each workout I push myself a little more and have gotten to enjoy (and look forward to going) my workouts - so much that I no longer mind getting up at 0430 to get there by 0500.

Then today came...a day I had been dreading for a week! I signed up for a 6-week Boot Camp class - it started at 0500 this morning.
Let me just say that it was harder than I imagined! The instructor has been doing the boot camp class for 8 years and her call to show mercy had long been silenced! It was 60 minutes – nonstop – and brutal! We started out seeing how many push ups we could do in 1 minute….I did 25. The over-achiever next to me did something like 45. (I'm no puss...I'm 44...whatever)! By the end of the class I had to do 30 - five more than what I started with.  (Yeah the over-achiever had to do 50...she was not so over-achieving by this point - I tried to smirk, but it hurt too much).

Then somewhere along the way we alternated from sit-up/crunches to jumping jacks. Each exercise was 1 minute with less than 15 seconds in between….all going so fast that my head was spinning (literally, I couldn't think)! Usually the 15 second "break" was spent trying to get down to or up from the floor. Somewhere along the way I vaguely remember doing squats (uggg) – double and single. I say “vaguely” because I think I blacked out somewhere between the burpees and the squats.

Oh, it gets better…we ran around the inside of the gym (it was raining out), followed by a bazillion and one “surrenders” – only she wouldn’t let us surrender (or else she would, but the ringing in my ears and my sucking for air due to lack of oxygen, drowned her out). It gets even better… the Turkish sit-up…or pull-up…whatever! I couldn’t do it…really. And not because I was lazy, I just couldn’t do the one legged sit-up followed by standing up with one arm raised above my head. Yeah, the skinny, kid-chick in front of me could do them like no bodies business. The bitch! You know the type, 18 to 20, never birthed a kid, been worn down by teenagers, arrived at middle age or hit menopause – I hate skinny kid-chicks! Anyway, I was proud that I at least got the sit-up  part (as I have a hard time doing a sit-up without (1) having my feet secured and (2) doing a crunch instead..and I did it with one arm raised above my head.

Get this…there was a plank thing – attached to it was a ‘hermes’…not quite sure I have that right – remember the ringing in my ears and the blacking out (yeah, that happened again)?! We got to plank then had to put one arm down on the ground, then the other, then each one back up. There were leg lifts (of course there were) followed by holding our feet 1 inch from the ground. WTF? I swear on my old cat's (Harley) grave out beside the house in Athens, that we did those for MORE than 60 seconds - she was totally going over her count. Isn't there a rule about that?!?!

This was all within the first 30 minutes….we had to do all of this again for another 30 minutes!
ALL. OF. IT!

I think there were a couple of other exercised thrown in there, but my brain is trying to protect me in some way; I can't rememebr what they were.

No mercy! None. Zip.

When I got home and in the shower I could barely lift my legs to shave them. I even considered throwing on tights and wearing boots instead of shaving…but if you know me personally..you KNOW that I couldn't have made it out of the house before stripping off and getting those legs shaved.

Right now…the pain is starting to settle in, but I can’t pinpoint exactly where it’s coming from. I’m afraid to cry because I just know that it will hurt to raise my arm and wipe the tears!

Oh. My. Goodness!

Peace, Love & What the Hell Was I Thinking?

SHARING.... My Honey's email response to my bootcamp experience (don't hate because he's so awesome):

From: Richardson, {Rich}

Sent: Wednesday, November 03, 2010 10:15 AM
To: Richardson, Renee
Subject: RE: So...boot camp (UNCLASSIFIED)

Honey,
I’m so proud of you for taking the first beating, punishment, step! The hardest part is yet to come. Yes, more pain! But now it’s self inflicted at least until next week when you return to boot camp. Meaning, you need to keep going to the gym and stick with your own plan all in preparation for next week’s punishment.

No matter what, you are my skinny kid-chick always have been and always will be!
Oh yeah! Take about 800mg of Ibuprofen and that will help.

I love you my dear!
Rich

TMI - Oh My!

(COL ...sorry for the TMI. You may need to shield your eyes...kids - look away)!

I got a picture yesterday from my Honey down range...he doesn't send pictures often.

Me: "Babe, you are looking so pretty hot in that picture"! Looking good for an old guy! And he was!!! He is!

Honey: "You think so?" (he's laughing at me because he knows where this is going)

Me: "In xxx days you have to know that we are not going to make it home! As a matter of fact, we may not make it out of the airport because there's a hotel attached. Just sayin'".

Honey: "You're killing me"! So glad I can make your day"!

Me: "You have managed to completely unravel, in one second, what took me 206 days to wall up! Thanks. You're a Jerk".

Honey: "No problem! Just keeping you on your toes". Still laughing at me.

Geesh!


Peace, Love & more Love & Peace!

Honey...

{Skyping with my Honey a few minutes ago.....}

Me: Honey, what's that on your neck? Are you wearing a high-neck t-shirt? (knowing it's 100 degrees)

Honey: Yeah. Um...I'm taking a helicopter ride.

Me: You're what? Excuse me....

Honey: Goin' to a 'thing' at another base.

Me: Really?! Okay...not liking that AT ALL! Couldn't you just say 'no, I'll pass'?

Honey: (Laughs)...ummm No.

Me: I fully expect a message/skype/smoke signal that lets me know you are back at the FOB when it's over! Okay?!

Honey: Sure thing! I love you!


Yeah, good times!

A Trick and a Treat!

I have plenty of THIS:












I need THIS:

Before we moved to our current home (6 years ago), we lived in a little subdivision where kids ran wild. Okay, not other kids - just our kids! The neighborhood was FULL to the brim with trick or treaters! We had fun decorating for Halloween, dressing up, rolling yards, passing out candy! For years we enjoyed watching our kids dress up...even in the lean years when we could afford much in the way of costumes, they/we still managed to rise to the occasion!

Then, sadly our kids grew up and we moved to a quiet, newly developed neighborhood (it's only a street) on the side of a little mountain that overlooks a good-sized subdivision. "Down the hill" the streets crawls with costumed little folks and decorations galore! The thing (trick) is that no one wants to come up the hill for sweet loot! I have the good candy...no cheap treats here!

Each year I buy ..... wait for the door bell to ring ....maybe we'll have one or two! It's those couple of kids that make the journey who will walk away with the mother-load!

Love, Peace & Happy Halloweeny!

Just sayin....

I postively detest when you experience something that makes you incredibly happy and then someone comes along and makes it about them...and pisses on your parade! Well, they just didn't realize that I have an unbrella! Ha!

Over The Moon....

I am SO Over The Moon right now!

WHY????

Yesterday we marked a 200 day milestone for this deployment

We have less than 2 months until R&R

Yay!!!!!!

Our youngest son came Home from living in California for 5 months!

I have missed him sooo much and feel  completely happy to have my kids 'home'.

AND

TODAY.......

These beautiful people have just told me

THEY ARE PREGNANT!

A Grandchild - in 8.5 months!!!

My World would be complete if HE was Home too!

 

My Husband!

Peace, Love & Over The Moon Excited!!