Yeah, it's a negative number! It means that my husband is no longer in Afghanistan and the transition HOME has begun. (we set our Circle of Freedom for his departure date from Afghanistan). He should be home in less than 2 weeks and I could not be more excited! Well, when he's finally home I will be more excited!!
It's a wonderful and strange feeling to know that we have come to this point and in a couple of short weeks the physical part of deployment will be over. I don't kid myself into thinking reintegration will be smooth sailing, as I beleive there will be some adjusting there too...a new 'us' to get used to again and a new normal.
For one, I'll have to give him back his side of the bathroom vanity! There was nothing wrong with my side...I just liked his better. I will also have to give him back his part of the closet and put ALL my shoes where they go rather than kicked off in the floor. They'll be more laundry to do..no more waiting until the weekend for a full load. I'll be giving back his car that I've been driving for a year now. Then there will be the adjustment to cooking for 2 instead of one (or for 4 rather than 3). I won't be toting around my netbook every where I go on the off-chance that he will get to Skype with me. I'll need a new watch that just has one time on it rather than the dual time watch I've worn for a year.
They'll be someone sharing my space again...what happens is he doesn't like the new shows that I watch on TV? I stopped watching "our shows" after he left. I'll have to adjust to being the second banana again as far as the dog is concerned. He'll look around at the overgrown bushes in the back yard and see that I just let it grow and get all crazy...will he be disappointed in the things I did or didn't do around the house? Will he like my hair cut? Will he still love me enough when he sees that I've lost weight..will he think it wasn't enough? Do you think that he will still find me interesting? I still have that horrible loose skin pouch..I've tried so hard to get rid of it but it's still there just as ugly as ever. Will that matter to him and be a turn off? What is he's not attracted to me anymore? I've spent ALOT of time alone..I've grown accustomed to my own company and I think I may be quieter now.Will he miss the relationships he developed down range so much that he will be disallusioned with home?
Needless to say, the anxiety has begun.
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