After my tearful blogging episode yesterday I got the familiar Skype alert and saw my husband's face. We probably got a few words exchanged as he's working away, before he stopped and looked straight at me. "What's wrong"? "Nothing. Everything's fine" - I lie with a smile. He goes through asking how each of the kids are doing, our neighbors, my sister..."all fine"..."It's in your voice, something's not right". I wave him off as the tears start to fall again. "Just a rough moment, I guess. I just can't talk about it without crying and I can't cry anymore". We talk about random things, then he said "your feeling lonely aren't you"?
I cry harder...I can't say anything and I hate myself more for breaking down on Skype...doesn't he have enough to worry about? "Yea, I am. I'm so sorry..just having a moment .. I'll be fine. Let's talk about something else, okay"? We go on to talk a little while longer; we talk about his work and how close we are to the end of deployment. We talk about almost being in single digits until he leaves his base for Kuwait - in less than 4 weeks he will be home. We talk about everything and anything for about 30 minutes...I actually had his full attention and that helped so much. We ended the conversation on a high note and I felt much better
not less alone,
but better.
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