"Go ahead, Jump. Jump!"

"Might as well jump. Jump!

Go ahead, jump.

Might as well jump. Jump!

Go ahead, jump. Jump!" ~ Van Halen

"So....I did some research on cardio exercises that are guaranteed to help me to shed the belly fat. Interval is the key to the lock, evidently. More Internet searches for great interval workouts took me to a site about the Jump Rope. I read it can actually burn up to 700 calories an hour with about 0.1 calories burned per jump.

Skipping Rope. Double Dutch. Criss Cross. Basic Jump.

Remember this little activity when you were a little girl? How for HOURS you and your friends would jump and jump...and jump. We didn't give a damn about exercising..it was just something fun and easy.

This morning at the gym I took my jump rope into a private room for WOMEN ONLY. I sure as hell wasn't going to jump rope out in the general public. So...here I was confident that jumping rope was like riding a bicycle, brushing my teeth or having sex - there are just some things you don't forget how to do. How difficult could it really be 33'ish years later, really?

I took my jump roping stance and flipped the rope over my head, prepared to jump... and the rope hit my ankles when I didn't clear the floor. I stepped over it and prepared for a second attempt....smacked across the ankles again. Attempt # 3 - this time I cleared 1/2 a foot while the other one was tangled in the rope. See where this is going?

For 10 minutes I did this...flip the rope, try to jump and get tangled up. I then gave up trying to jump with both feet and tried the alternating leg jump (kind of like lopping across it one leg as a time). This method of madness worked a couple of steps until I would get caught up again. I think a couple of times I actually got a full 20 seconds in before wrapping that damn rope around my ankles. I would rest for 10 seconds and then try it again. A few attempts were successful, a few were a total flop and I would spend the next 20 seconds trying to get a steady jump going. At the end of 20 minutes I was purely exhausted and actually thanked God for the breast reduction I had 5 years ago!. I think I burned 700 calories just trying to figure it all out!

On the car ride home with Rich and Brian (Rich's BFF) I recounted my jump roping experience and vowed to master the Jump Rope! Brian remarked that it was on now and that I would be Double Dutching by the end of Summer.

I'd just settle for the Criss Cross!