I'm Doing It!

After years and months of research, careful thought and consideration, talking about and praying about it..Rich and I have made a decision.

I'm having having a tummy tuck in a few weeks! Yep..I am. I can't believe I just wrote those words! It's not just about vanity; as I'm sure many people (friends and family) will believe, but it's much deeper than that. I feel like I have to visually explain this...here goes...

See this picture?

and this one...

It's not ME, but it looks just like what I look like. I get rashes underneath the folds and heat rashes in the hip/thigh area where the loose skin rests when I sit down. TMI - I know!  I wear one size larger in clothing just to account for that one single area and wear heavy duty, hold-it-all-in underarmor ever single day - it's difficult when it's 100 degrees out but I have to do that. I constantly keep a rash on my stomach and lower abdominal area from the friction and heat of undergarments; it's the price I pay.

I've lost 15 pounds...yes..but that 'hooded' area has grown larger. I work out 4-5 hours every single week (and have for 10 months) - cardio, ab/core, and resistance...I maintain a healthy diet. I am doing every thing I can do to improve what has happened to my body. I have to say that I am very proud of the transformation that I've seen in my body and health since I began living a healthier lifestyle. The only thing that deflates me emotionally and mentally is "that area".

I had a consultation yesterday afternoon to talk about my particular case, the surgery, the risk and complications and the potential outcome. At first glance and feel the Doctor could feel the core that I've built but he could also feel where the muscles have separated and are unable to support the skin in the lower abdomen. It will never go away..it will continue to grow. It just hangs there...like a heavy sack of water. It's not even fat..it's just heavy skin.

No, I'm doing this to look younger...I enjoy being my age (45) and I love the person I have grown into. I didn't make this decision lightly; it's been years in the making. I'm not trying to make myself sexier; I am a sexy person, regardless of my size..but the mental weight is draining and how the emotional impact the perception I have of myself has effected me (and Rich).

Rich and I talked about it last night, slept on it, and have made the decision to move forward.

August 8th is my surgery date.

For friends and family that may read my blog- I'm not face-booking this. I hope that I have your support as I undergo this surgery. It's a big deal and it's a major surgery. Please don't talk about me behind my back about how stupid I'm being, being vain, how I'm being selfish, how expensive it's going to be, or anything else you can think of. I'm not becoming a cosmetic surgery fanatic..yes, I had my breast reduced 5 years ago..but I was a 34 EEE for God's sake...now I am a happy 34 D. I wouldn't change that surgery for anything and I know I won't regret this decision either. Please just continue to love and support me.

There...I've said it and have scheduled it. Yikes!!